Game of Tomes

[eveglass]

Another week in Westeros, another crisis. This week, in the second round of melee at the Harrenhal tournament, the mystery knight fighting with the Kingsguard knocked out the Knight of the Smiling Tree (aka Lyra Mormont). The Knight of the Laughing Tree (aka Lyanna Stark) rushed to her defense and knocked the helmet off of the opposing mystery knight… revealing him to be none other than King Aerys! Oh, noes! Time for damage control! Time for reparations! Time for… lines of the night!


[Robert Baratheon's men have still not been able to find Soren's parents, held hostage by the Boltons.]
Robert Baratheon: "Who sent you the message that they were being held?"
Soren: "Ramsey."
Robert Baratheon: "Roose's bastard. We could have him found."

[Soren and the rest of his team were disqualified from the tournament because Soren dislocated his opponent's arm. If Soren can't fight in the archery competition, his parents' lives are forfeit.]
Soren: "I should do something. I should… Why is it illegal to break someone's arm?!"

[Robert Baratheon tries to explain to his new brother why it is illegal to break someone's arm in tourney rules.]
Robert Baratheon: "Tourney swords are blunted."
Soren: "Your warhammer's a blunted weapon. Are you saying you never killed a man with it?"
Robert Baratheon: "…"
Christian (as Robert Baratheon): "You're right, these rules are stupid!"

[Soren asks Jeyne into his tent to help him dress for dinner with the Martells.]
Christian: "This is how rumors start."
Julie: "I'm gonna make the eight! Some of them twice!"

[Soren is approached by two of his bannermen. The music cue here was just perfect… for certain values of perfect.]
Soren: "What can I do for you?"
*ominous music plays*
Bannermen: "You can die! We're for Stannis!"

[The bannermen were not in fact there to kill Soren but to invite him to dinner the following night.]
Ronnet Connington: "It may not be the sort of meal you're accustomed to…"
Christian: "Everyone will live."

[Soren goes to dinner with the Martells. This is his first experience with spicy Dornish food.]
Marc: "I rolled a fortitude save of 30. This is the greatest food ever. It hits like a mule."

[Oberyn Martell, like everyone else at the tourney, knows about Soren's altercation.]
Oberyn Martell: "Why break the arm? Why not a leg?"
Soren: "The arm was attached to the shield. Once the shield was down, I could break his face."

[Everyone around Soren has been neglecting to mention that the man whose arm Soren dislocated was Roger Ryswell and not, in fact, a Bolton. Oberyn Martell has no reason to know this.]
Oberyn Martell: "Roger Ryswell is an ugly sot."
Soren: "Wait. That wasn't a Bolton?"
Oberyn Martell: "Bolton is also an ugly sot."
Soren: "Yes, but he still has his arm."

[Lucas discovers that Lyra is one of the mystery knights in the tournament.]
Lucas: "Does Janus know?"
Lyra: "Of course. I asked his permission."
Janus Reidell: "I get to kiss the wounds."

[From the department of running jokes…]
Lucas: "Soren, get in here!"
Ian the GM: "And this is how rumors start."

[Lucas has the unfortunate job of telling Soren that he will not be fighting in the archery competition. He seeks reinforcements in breaking the news.]
Lyra: "You asked me to help."
Lucas: "Yes, you're here so I can stand behind you."

[Lucas breaks the news to Soren.]
Lucas: "We're disqualified from the archery competition."
Soren: "Under whose authority?"
Lucas: "The king."
Soren: *grinds teeth* "And where. is. the king?"

[Soren, in a rage, breaks a bunch of stuff in Lyra's tent, then storms out to find a line of Bracken men preventing him from marching off to do something stupid.]
Edmure Bracken: "If there's more to destroy in the tent, destroy the tent."

[Soren storms off after promising he won't do anything stupid. After a while, Edmure approaches Lucas to discuss the situation. He may have been speaking to Bryndyn in the meantime.]
Edmure Bracken: "He doesn't owe me an apology. I acted rudely. I'll approach him later when we're both calmer."
Ian the GM: "These, you can tell, are not his words."

[Lucas, naturally, is perfectly willing to engage in his centuries-old rivalry with the Blackwoods.]
Kyran: "His revenge is allowable, yours isn't. It's his house. Get your own house."
Ian the GM: "No, no. Soren's revenge is allowable so long as it's done calmly and with style."

[This is always a sign of trouble.]
Ian the GM: "Raegon is nowhere to be found."
Christian: "I try to find Raegon. This is how all my days start."

[Kyran is not able to find Raegon.]
Christian: "The next step is to find Daenerys."
Marc: "That's not so hard. She's five feet behind you."
Kyran: "Gah!"

[Jeyne is spending the day watching the jousts with Gerion Lannister.]
Julie: "I'll congratulate my friends later. Right now, I have a man to flirt with."

[This may be more prophetic than anticipated.]
Christian: "When Robert's king, we need to have Soren tourney rules."

[We discuss the possibility of Raegon Reidell becoming king.]
Kyn: "But Raegon is crazy!"
Christian: (deadpan) "Yeah, we can't have a crazy Targaryen on the throne."

[Lucas is upset that he always seems the last to know everything.]
Jeyne: "You were the first to know about the king."
Lucas: "But that's different! I figured that out!"
Jeyne: "That's how you become first to know things: you figure them out."

[The possibility has been raised of fostering Viserys Targaryen at Stone Hedge. While the idea has definite advantages, it also has a few pitfalls.]
Bryndyn Bracken: "We could forge him into someone better."
Lucas: "As a blacksmith, I say that being the forge isn't pleasant."
Jeyne: "I didn't say it would be pleasant, I said it would be advantageous."
Christian: "Just remember that I'm your friend."

[Bryndyn Bracken brings up the possibility of Lucas befriending Rhaegar Targaryen in the hopes of eventually becoming his Hand.]
Christian: "Crazy ambition runs in the family."

[Jeyne goes off to spend the night with Balon Greyjoy. Not everyone knows about her most recent escapades, however.]
Jeyne: "If you'll excuse me, my lords, I have an appointment."
Lucas: "You know, I'm not sure how I feel about that."
Bryndyn Bracken: "About what?"
Lucas: "…Never mind."

[Lucas finds Janus Reidell and Lyra in Janus' tent.]
Lucas: "Are you… cuddling?"
Lyra: "I had a bad day."
Lucas: "Janus got beaten up by the Mountain that Rides and you had a bad day?"

[Lucas is annoyed that everyone seems to be partying or having sex except him.]
Lucas: "Why am I sitting in my tent working on costs and numbers?!"
Janus: "Because apparently you've forgotten where Lysa Tully's tent is."
Lucas: "…Oh."

[Soren destroyed most of the stuff in Lyra tent earlier in the day. Other arrangements will sadly have to be made.]
Janus: "Shame about your tent. You'll have to stay here tonight."
Lyra: "Terrible hardship. You'll have to comfort me."

[Lucas decides to write Lysa Tully a love song.]
Lucas: "What's another word for bosom?"
Janus: "Look past the bosom to the heart."
Lucas: "That's not nearly as fun."
Christian: "Aerys annulling the marriage will be a kindness."

[Kyran has bought candy in anticipation of the second day of the melee.]
Kyran: "This candy is for the children."
Jeyne: "That's quite a lot of candy. I believe Raegon is the only child in our box."
Kyran: "Daenerys will be there too."
Jeyne: "Oh, is she counted as a child?"
Kyran: "…Well played."

[Lucas does not know about Daenerys' intentions on Kyran. Jeyne does.]
Lucas: "Am I missing something?"
Kyran and Jeyne, in quick succession: "Yes."

[In the melee, the king continued to hit Lyra after she was down. Lyanna jumped to her rescue, knocking the helmet off of Aerys' head so that the crowd could recognize him but she, standing behind him, could not. She continued to hit him a few more times until she realized what she was doing, then ran. In the aftermath, people begin to murmur.]
Kyran: "I wonder what Lord Tywin is thinking and doing right now."
Ian the GM: "So you get closer to his box?"
Christian: "No, I'm idly speculating in front of Raegon."

[More of the same.]
Christian: "Wind up the kids and let them go."

[Kyran has been tasked with accompanying Rhaegar Targaryen in hunting down the mystery knight who struck the king. Rhaegar recognizes instantly that Kyran is of Targaryen blood, even though Kyran does not know it himself.]
Rhaegar Targaryen: "Tell me about the Stormlands, about your parents."
Kyn: "Subtle like a dragon."

[As the captain of the team with the two mystery knights -- Lyanna Stark and Lyra -- Lord Reidell might find himself in quite a bit of trouble.]
Lucas: "Lord Reidell, you know I have always admired and been impressed by your cunning, but I believe this time you've outfoxed yourself."
Christian: "Short version: 'Dumbass!'"

[Kyran knows who the runaway mystery knight is. Prince Rhaegar does not.]
Christian: "Ride with the prince to find Lyanna Stark. This will be brilliant. I'm gonna cause the war."


The good news is that Rhaegar's love of Lyanna caused him to let her go. The party line is that he and Kyran lost the Smiling Knight's trail in the God's Eye, and Soren was with Lyanna all day in the weirwood. The bad news is that we still may all be in lots of trouble, and Lord Reidell may be about to cause a civil war among the Targaryens. Come back next time for the thrilling continuation!