Random Ramblings

Yesterday my eyes were actually doing much better. And, I suppose, they're still getting better. But because I was dabbing at them so much yesterday, the corners (both outer and inner) and now quite raw and painful. Beyond that, my eyes are *so* itchy. It's taking all my willpower not to keep dabbing at them and to just let nature take its course.

Weirdly, I seem to have lost about a third of my eyelashes, mostly towards the inner corners of my eyes. Probably they came off when I was taking off the congealed clumps that at stuck to them. It looks mighty weird, I'll admit.

I've been taking the antibiotic eye drops. They seem to be helping. My eyes are much drier, even if they are still red and puffy. Hopefully this will hold true for tonight and I'll be able to sleep.

Also, I proved I am utterly incapable of self-administering eye drops. Marc's been doing it for me so far, but I worry about what's going to happen when I have to take them at work. Well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Ian came over (yes, I warned him not to) and brought Deadwood for us to watch. Also, he's been wonderful and doing a quick pharmacy run for us to pick up things like Halls and extra eye drops for me to take into work tomorrow, if indeed I decide to go in. Also if I decide to go in, he's picking me up some paramedic-style gloves, so that maybe I won't spread the conjunctivitis. I hope.

Still trying to decide if it's smart to go in tomorrow. I'm probably functional at this point (assuming I sleep tonight), but probably also still really contagious. So it's a trade off.

In any event, this is decidedly not how I wanted to spend my first week on the job.

Woke up with a wicked migraine this morning and a shooting pain down the right side of the back of my neck. Took an advil and curled up in bed for another 45 minutes, and thankfully it seems to have finally kicked in. I was this close to calling in sick today.

In other news, I feel like these guys:

So, I'm sick, right? Can't taste anything. I'm also, apparently, a little mentally... not quite there. I was about a third of the way through my glass of water before I noticed white flakes floating in it and a white film on the bottom of the glass.

That's right, I drank a third of a glass of water before realizing it hadn't been completely rinsed of dishwashing detergent.

Blech!

Looks like the cold I've been fighting all week finally got the better of me. Went into work, stared at my computer screen for a half-hour, realized it was a futile effort, and came home.

Stupid sickness.

I'm convinced that from yesterday afternoon to this afternoon, I had some sort of a 24-hour mental flu. It was bad, real bad. There were stretches in there when I couldn't stop crying, when the smallest thing would push me over the edge to crying, and things just generally weren't going well in my head. There was no one thing that was the trigger, but a sort of perfect storm of small things that seems to have pushed me over the edge.

Around 3 this afternoon was horrid. I was falling asleep at my desk, torn between wanting to cry and wanting to crash out.

And then it passed. Tea, and advil, and 30 minutes in the break room later, I felt like a different person. It was like a fever breaking. It was incredible. I had energy (and still do), and no longer felt like crying. Still don't.

So... 24-hour mental flu. Must be. Only explanation. *grin*

I was so sick today that I didn't even want to use my computer. When's the last time *that* happened?

I made a deal my body last night that I'd feel better by 4 pm. My whole day was pretty awful -- I don't remember the last time I've been this sick -- but especially from about noon to 3:30. My response, "you do whatever you need to do, body, to make me better at 4." Starting around 4-5, though, I began feeling much better. Right now, all I've got left is some congestion, which is worlds better than what I was dealing with this morning.

Still haven't eaten anything besides some soup broth and tea today, though, but I'm not hungry. I figure once I'm finally passed the worst, my body will get ravenous, and then I'll feed it. That's what usually seems to happen.

For the second day in a row, I woke up with a migraine. I blame a combination of dehydration and the really hot, humid weather. I'd blame my walk headfirst into a wall yesterday, but the migraine started before that.

Thank goodness for advil.

My life, from 4:00-5:30 am this morning:

Option 1: Try to breathe through a stuffed nose, gradually getting oxygen-deprived, and needing to breathe through my mouth every 3-4 breaths.

Option 2: Try to breathe through my mouth, feeling my throat get every more raw and painful with every breath.


Finally at 5:30, I decided to take a shower in an attempt to moisturize my throat and de-clog my nose. This was part-way successful, and allowed me to get another 2-3 hours of sleep.

Sigh. At least the shower-time has let me figure out what I'm teaching tomorrow at the interview, assuming I get my voice back by then.