Game of Tomes

[eveglass]

Could it be? Was there really a Bracken feast in which no one dies? Yes! This time, there were only earth-shattering announcements that might change the entire face of the Game of Thrones! Huzzah!


[Maxwell Reidell, "The Courtier," arrives as Robert Baratheon's outrider.]
Maxwell Reidell (suggestively): "Hi there."
Kyn: "I didn't know we had women at the gate."
Maxwell Reidell: "Oh. Your hair needs a haircut."

[Lucas realizes the implications of having Maxwell Reidell at Stone Hedge.]
Lucas: "I don't remember sending an invitation to those Reidells. I hope we have enough wine."

[Maxwell is often drunk. This time is not an exception.]
Maxwell Reidell: "Lord Robert has a request."
Lucas: "What is it?"
Maxwell Reidell: "...I forget."

[Maxwell has been remarking that Lucas Bracken is a small man. Then he sees Soren.]
Maxwell Reidell (to Soren): "You're big. Did you take that from him?"

[Ah, the joys of hosting The Courtier. A man of simple pleasures.]
Maxwell Reidell: "You said more wine?"
Lucas: "I didn't actually, but yes."

[There are a few simple ways to make sure that Maxwell stays out of the picture for a while.]
Lucas: "Bobbi! Escort Ser Reidell to some quarters. Any quarters. Preferably yours."

[Robert Baratheon has requested that Lucas Bracken greet him with six fighters so that they might hold a mini-tournament. Lucas and Kyran try to figure out who those six fighters will be.]
Kyran: "I'm technically going to be including me as well, even though that's a terrible idea."

[Lucas wants his fighters to arrive wearing the Bracken sigil.]
Ian the GM: "You don't have anything large enough for Soren except the curtains."
Lucas: "Get the curtains!"
Soren: "I'm not wearing curtains."
Ian the GM: "Again."

[Lucas gets Soren riled up for the tournament.]
Lucas: "Imagine the Baratheons are me, and I just put a curtain on you."

[The Bracken feasts are beginning to get something of a reputation.]
Kyran: "We're to have another feast. Should I make the funeral arrangements?"

[Lucas and his retinue ride out to meet the lordly host that approaches.]
Soren: "I'm wearing curtains."
Kyran: "And remember whose fault that is: Robert Baratheon."

[In Robert Baratheon's retinue are a number of great lords: Jon Arryn and his nephew Denys, Eddark Stark, Bryndyn Tully the Blackfish, and Maxwell Reidell. There's also Panther, the Tyroshi Maester at Arms of the Crossroads and one of the fiercest fighters in Westeros. None of the PCs recognize him.]
Ian the GM: "The Tyroshi guy is clearly not a threat."

[Reflecting on the number of great lords who have suddenly arrived at Stone Hedge.]
Kyran: "We need a bigger keep."

[Lucas has been paired against Jon Arryn in the mini-tournament.]
Lucas: "I'm young. What are a few bruises?"
Jon Arryn: "I'll try not to hurt you too much."

[Kyran's role seems to be fluid, from outrider to guard to interim steward, to...]
Lucas: "This is Kyran, one of my men at arms..."
Kyran: "..."

[Eri just realizes the implications of who's who on the battlefield.]
Eri: "Wait, Maxwell's fighting for them? Oh, fuck!"

[It's up to the challenged party to determine the type of combat.]
Lucas (to Jon Arryn): "Please, choose the method. I play a mean game of chess."

[Jon Arryn chooses to fight with swords, and hits Lucas rather solidly.]
Lucas: "My turn."
Ian the GM: "Did you actually say 'my turn'?"
Kyn: "Yeah."
Ian the GM: "He goes after you while you're talking."

[Jon Arryn and Lucas switch to knife fighting, and while Lucas gets in a few good shots, Jon Arryn slashes Lucas in the ribs.]
Lucas: "My spirit says continue, but my ribcage says yield."
Marc: "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy."

[We realize that there are four great houses at Stone Hedge, and wonder if any of the others might be insulted that they're not there.]
Lucas: "We should send an invitation to the Lannisters."
Kyran: "And who's going to write this invitation?"
Lucas: "I will."
Kyran: "But we don't want to be insulting."

[Lucas ramps up the security arrangements for the feast.]
Lucas: "Every meal should be tasted."
Kyran: "By who?"
Lucas: "Find someone you don't like."

[Lucas prepares to descend for the feast.]
Christian: "There are guards outside your door. And not the stupid ones, either."

[Robert Baratheon stands up to make an announcement.]
Robert Baratheon: "I have much to say... [long pause] Lord Reidell, would you please explain?"

[Robert Baratheon announces that Soren is, in fact, his half-brother, the son of Steffon Baratheon and Maege Mormont, and legitimizes him as a rightful Baratheon. Soren flees the room and tries to rip a tree out of the ground. Lyra's bear Rody tries to stop him, nuzzling him and making soothing noises.]
Marc: "You hear muffled weeping. Deep, great sobs. Then he throws the bear."

[Lucas tries to get a handle on Soren's new noble status.]
Lucas: "They do say that in a marriage, a house gains a daughter. Apparently House Baratheon wishes to gain a son as well."

[Janus Reidell offers to squire Lucas Bracken, Benjen Stark, and Soren. The first two agree, but Soren wants to know more about what squiring entails.]
Janus Reidell: "...And I think you'll like this part, beating on my fellow squires who were smaller than me. One of them was a wise-ass."
Lucas: "Clearly he means Benjen."
Benjen Stark: "He could mean me. I think he means you."

[In addition to the other announcements, we also have the official announcement that Robert Baratheon will marry Lyanna Stark, and that Janus Reidell will wed Lyra Mormont, a declaration that comes as a complete shock to Lord Reidell, Janus' father.]
Ian the GM: "Maxwell's like, 'This is the best wake ever!'"

[Seeing that her father and cousin are not there, Janus asks Soren, as Lyra's nephew, for his permission to wed his kinswoman. Soren agrees, on the condition that Janus win Lyra from him. Janus... hesitates.]
Janus: "I'm willing to fight! I just don't want to lose you!"
Lyra: "Uh-huh."

[Instead of fighting himself, Janus puts forward Panther as his champion.]
Janus: "Panther could beat Soren and Robert at the same time!"
Lucas: "I accept that wager."
Janus: "Crap!"

[Meanwhile, Jeyne's been getting drunk and reflecting on her situation, i.e. that she is secretly the bastard daughter of the late Jemma Bracken, and thus Lucas' aunt. Of course, the rumors are that Jeyne has been sleeping with Lucas, which might make things difficult for his new betrothed. Let the misunderstandings begin!]
Jeyne (drunkenly): "I could have been a Bracken."
Ian the GM: *rolls* "Thank God Lysa didn't hear that!"


And that's it for this week! Join us in two weeks where we may, just maybe, get to the funerals that Kyn has been trying to set up for the last three sessions. See you then!