A moment of self-doubt
Feb. 26th, 2006 12:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eveglassSo here I am, sitting at my computer, more-or-less unable to get up, paralized by the running dialogue in my head, "I can't do this. There's too much work. I'll never be able to write my papers. I'll never graduate. If my profs knew how much I was flailing, they'd kick me out now and save us both the long agony of deterioration..."
I know, objectively, that this isn't really true. I'll get to the end of semester, write my papers, do moderately decently on them, (hopefully) pass the Latin exam, and get my piece of paper that lets me add two more letters to the end of my name. But that doesn't stop the internal dialogue. This is what I hate most about grad school: the feeling of utter helplessness and despair that sometimes hits me.
Please note: this is not an opportunity for you to tell me:
1. how much more stress you have than I do. I'm not in a "world's most overwhelmed person" contest.
2. that I'm spoiled and that my life is wonderful. I know that already.
3. that I'm smart and will make it through. I know that too.
Blargh. I'm off to the library in the hopes that SOME of the articles I saw on IMB will be halfway-useful in my papers. I've got a month and a half left, and no solid research yet.
I know, objectively, that this isn't really true. I'll get to the end of semester, write my papers, do moderately decently on them, (hopefully) pass the Latin exam, and get my piece of paper that lets me add two more letters to the end of my name. But that doesn't stop the internal dialogue. This is what I hate most about grad school: the feeling of utter helplessness and despair that sometimes hits me.
Please note: this is not an opportunity for you to tell me:
1. how much more stress you have than I do. I'm not in a "world's most overwhelmed person" contest.
2. that I'm spoiled and that my life is wonderful. I know that already.
3. that I'm smart and will make it through. I know that too.
Blargh. I'm off to the library in the hopes that SOME of the articles I saw on IMB will be halfway-useful in my papers. I've got a month and a half left, and no solid research yet.
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A sister in need is a sister indeed
Date: 2006-02-27 12:10 am (UTC)I know I don't post here very often, but I thought I should now. ^_^
I already miss you, but I know if i ever get lonely I can always come on here and see how you're doing.
Well, since you told me not to say you're smart, then I'll just say this:
You're the bestest sister in the whole world and I know that someday you'll be able to look back on this and laugh. If you are really feeling down, you know I'm only a phonecall or email away. ^_^
I hope this makes you feel better and I want to remind you that I love you.
(I know this is the sort of thing that you like getting in emails, but I don't care what other people think. ^_^)
Anyways, I guess I should get going, gotta wake up early tommorow for a few reasons (and you know how much I LOVE waking up early.) =(
Speak to you soon!
Loves and Huggles,
Jeffy
PS: NCIX sent me the email confirming that they GOT the computer, even though purolator said they got it tuesday. Hopefully it will be fixed soon... I miss my games. =(
Re: A sister in need is a sister indeed
Date: 2006-02-27 01:24 pm (UTC)Too bad about the computer. I know it sucks. Keep me updated about what's going on with it, and whether I need to send a letter bomb to the company or something. *grin*
Hugs!
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