URDR - Multiverse Defense

[eveglass]

Into the lands of dream! Where the people are strange, the landscape is stranger, and fights are conducted by slinging phantasms. Unless you're us, of course.


[During the downtime between sessions, we follow up a bit on previous projects.]
Stuart: "I'm still trying to synthesize imponium."
Eric the GM: "You continue to meet with catastrophic failure. Humiliating, catastrophic failure."

[We are called in by The Three, who inform us that the Realm of Dreams will soon be choosing a new ruler and Nidhogg is somehow involved.]
Kayla Ash: "One of our concerns is that Nidhogg might have found a way to control the Dreaming itself, thus getting a portal to every universe simultaneously."
Yalia: "...That would be bad."

[There are two main contenders to replace Olos-heru, the current Lord of Dreams: The Nightmare and the Paradigm.]
Anton: "Who does URDR support?"
Eric the GM: "The witches glare at each other for a moment. Bubeh Yachneh mutters something under her breath. Cracks begin to appear on the table."
Kayla Ash: "We have a difference of opinion."

[It turns out that one of the two contenders, The Nightmare, was formerly Axcevent's boss.]
Anton: "Do you have any loyalty to your former employer?"
Axcevent: "I left so he wouldn't kill me."
Anton: "So if you came into contact with him, would that be a problem?"
Axcevent: "Yes!"

[We prepare to leave for the Dreaming. The first challenge is getting there.]
Eric the GM: "'Where' isn't a word that quite applies."

[We do ultimately arrive in a location of the Dreaming called The Marketplace. It's a relatively stable area of the universe. Relatively.]
Eric the GM: "A cloud bumps into your head."
Stuart: "I pat it and send it on its way."
Eric the GM: "It catches fire, falls to the ground, turns into a centipede, and scuttles away."
Anton: "...Sorry!"
Eric the GM: "It's just that sort of place."

[In the near distance is The Parliament of Dreams, the seat of power of the Lord of Dreams.]
Eric the GM: "It appears to encompass the quintessence of a government building."

[We decide to go the Parliament. Thankfully, Axcevent is able to navigate the constantly-changing landscape.]
Eric the GM: "Any point in the Dreaming is theoretically a short, plesasant walk from anywhere else."

[We reach the double-doors of the Parliament.]
Robert: "I take a deep breath."
Eric the GM: "Why?"
Robert: "Effect, mostly."
Julie: "It seems like the thing to do."

[We enter the throne room. Olos-heru is there, along with several other lords of dream, and Nidhogg.]
Anton: "You'll notice I haven't tried to blow him up yet."
Yalia: "I appreciate that."

[We make polite, only-slightly-threatening small talk with Nidhogg.]
Anton: "Pass on my regards to Morgaustan."
Nidhogg: "Certainly! He'll be infuriated to hear it!"

[Olos-heru begins to speak.]
Eric the GM: "You have the sensation of eye contact, even though the creature has no eyes."
Stuart: "We're used to it."

[After Olos-heru makes his announcement that he is stepping down and opens the 24-hour contest to become his successor, we speak to one of the two main contenders, The Paradigm.]
The Paradigm: "Do I know you?"
Anton: "Not yet -- but you're about it."
The Paradigm: "Whoa."

[The Paradigm is kinda... distractible.]
Fox: "The contest. To become the next Lord of the Dreaming."
The Paradigm: "Is that now?"
Fox: "Yes."
The Paradigm: "Oh. I better get on that."

[Fox informs The Paradigm that Nidhogg may be trying to send his armies of soldiers through the Dreaming to attack the rest of the multiverse.]
The Paradigm: "It's not my place to tell people what's righteous. That's like... god stuff."
Anton: "Isn't that what the Lord of the Dreaming is?"
The Paradigm: "I don't follow."

[Having gotten pretty much nothing of use from The Paradigm, we prepare to visit The Nightmare.]
Fox: (to Axcevent) "Did you ever tell us why your old boss wanted to kill you? You didn't, did you?"

[We contemplate what sort of gift we could bring to The Nightmare, who is both Lord of Nightmares and also a nightmare beast, i.e. an undead demonic equine.]
Eric the GM: "You're pretty sure a bridle would be a bad idea."

[We try to figure out what we have to offer The Nightmare that Nidhogg doesn't.]
Fox: "I imagine the sort of thing Nidhogg does creates a lot of nightmares."

[We head out to visit The Nightmare.]
Eric the GM: "How are you getting to the nightmare lands?"
Stuart: "Is there a bus?"

[Anton has a spell to show people their greatest fear. He's just itching to use it.]
Anton: "I wonder what The Nightmare's greatest fear is."
Axcevent: "If you're approaching this as a scientist, that's a great idea. If you're approaching it as someone who wants to live, it's a horrible idea."

[Further on the idea of revealing The Nightmare's greatest fear.]
Axcevent: "That's like asking if the centre of the Earth is uncomfortable."
Eric the GM: "Briefly."
Axcevent: "No! It doesn't factor into it, because you're annihilated!"

[Just as we enter the nightmare lands, Anton smokes a joint that The Paradigm gave him. It doesn't do much except make him very stoned.]
Anton: "We should all have names."
Axcevent: "Most of us do."
Anton: "No, like... names."

[Stoned Anton + nightmare lands = hilarity.]
Anton: "Where does he live?"
Axcevent: "Everywhere?"
Anton: *amazed look* "Then we found him?"

[The way every doomed plan starts.]
Fox: "Y'know, not that we've ever had much success with this..."

[More signs of a doomed plan.]
Anton: *smiles*
Axcevent: (suspiciously) "What?! I don't like it when you smile!"
Eric the GM: "When someone smiles like that, it can only end in the phrase, 'Release the anvil!'"

[After a brief -- and again, not terribly fruitful -- conversation with The Nightmare, we return to The Paradigm's lands to speak with him. We are stopped by a pair of angels at the entrance to his cathedral.]
Anton: "But you serve him."
Angel: "Of course."
Anton: "Then you must respect him."
Angel: "I don't follow."

[We speak with the Paradigm.]
Axcevent: "You must have people helping you."
The Paradigm: "Yeah... that would have been smart."

[We try to figure out a reasonable solution to the situation.]
Anton: "Do you have any idea what will happen if The Nightmare becomes the new Lord of Dream?"
The Paradigm: "No."
Anton: "Neither do I, so that's common ground."

[The Paradigm is a kinda chill, laid back sorta guy. Also infuriating.]
The Paradigm: "You've just gotta... go."
Anton: "Where?"
The Paradigm: "Yeah."

[More of the same.]
The Paradigm: "Whoever wants something must be the problem."
Robert: "He's a Buddhist -- I love it."
Anton: "I've never before wanted to beat up an entity so much."

[We return to speak to Olos-heru.]
Olos-heru: "Mine were the dreams of the things that lurk outside the firelight."
Anton: "That's understandable... but unhelpful."

[Nidhogg is ostensibly in The Dreaming to act as an observer.]
Yalia: "Where is Nidhogg now?"
Olos-heru: "In a safe place."
Axcevent: "Safe from what? Us?"
Olos-heru: "Essentially."

[We go to speak with another lord of dreams, The Mara, lord of dreams where things are going wrong. It doesn't look quite the way we expected.]
Fox: "Greetings."
Eric the GM: "There is no response. It's a tree."

[The Mara can speak, and eventually does. It informs us that it isn't terribly keen on either of the two finalists.]
The Mara: "Of course, it would require a dream of the same faction to usurp dominance and become the most dominant."
Axcevent: "Oh, Jesus."

[We consider what it would take to have Axcevent replace The Nightmare.]
The Mara: "There are many ways to defeat a dream, but violence is one."

[Anton tries to give a pep talk to Axcevent.]
Anton: "The Nightmare is just a dream."
Yalia: "You don't say that here!"

[More of the same.]
Fox: "Do you feel up to stealing a nightmare's power?"
Axcevent: "A nightmare? Sure. The Lord of nightmares..."

[And yet more.]
Anton: "You've scared a lot of people."
Axcevent: "We're getting back into pep talk territory."

[Axcevent gives his thoughts on usurping The Nightmare.]
Axcevent: "It just seems to be like an ant plotting to take on a grizzly bear. Sorry, four ants."

[More considering.]
Axcevent: "I don't want to challenge my old boss."
Anton: "Will you anyway?"
Axcevent: "I might."

[And yet more.]
Fox: "I'd be more comfortable if I knew what you could do."
Axcevent: "Me too!"

[We consider the potential consequences of our actions.]
Fox: "We could be annihilated. That's the worst thing that could happen."
Yalia and Axcevent, in perfect unison: "That's not the worst thing that could happen."

[Axcevent tries marshalling some dream energy.]
Robert: *botches*
Eric the GM: "No, that actually works."

[Axcevent manages to create a small, somewhat indistinct dream creature.]
Robert: "It's responding to my will?"
Eric the GM: "Yes."
Robert: "I will it to have stripes."
Eric the GM: "...Sure. It has stripes."

[Axcevent tries again. Nothing happens.]
Eric the GM: "You're not able to replicate that single moment of idiot's clarity."

[We return to the land of nightmares, where Axcevent tries to siphon off nightmare energy from the floating dreams about the landscape. Mostly he only succeeds in experiencing the horror of them.]
Robert: "I touch another one."
Eric the GM: "Roll will."
Robert: *rolls*
Julie: "Better this time?"
Robert: (sadly) "No."

[Axcevent is starting to get the hang of things. But not fast enough.]
Eric the GM: "A storm is brewing on the horizon."
Fox: "Is that normal?"
Axcevent: "Yes, but that doesn't mean it's not horrible."

[The Nightmare has figured out we're up to something.]
Eric the GM: "It gazes at you with contemptuous majesty."

[Axcevent makes his play.]
Axcevent: "Lord Nightmare, I cannot allow you to take over the Dream Realm."
The Nightmare: "Cannot... allow me? How do you presume to stop me?"

[The Nightmare causes all the mortal PCs to fall into a temporary nightmare.]
Stuart: "It's all on you."
Robert: "I got nothin'."

[The Nightmare has Lena Cereghetti, our former handler, appear before us.]
Lena Cereghetti: "You're a complete failure."
Anton: "Are you gonna take this?"
Axcevent: "It's an illusion -- there's nothing to take."

[Take 2: The Nightmare creates a nightmare landscape of ghostlike creatures that can drain our strength.]
Anton: "It's not real?"
Axcevent: "I didn't say that."

[We fall back on what we do best.]
The Nightmare: "You shot me! That's not how we do things here! What are you doing?!"
Axcevent: "Cheating."

[We continue doing what we do.]
Yalia: "I really wanna taser The Nightmare. It might cause problems."
Axcevent: "Do you think you'll make it upset?"
Yalia: "I think it'll make other things upset."

[We defeat The Nightmare by the expedient of hitting it until it stops moving.]
Yalia: "Another nightmare's gonna step up?"
Axcevent: "Yes."
Anton: "It should be our nightmare."
Axcevent: "Yes."
Fox: "How do you do that?"
Axcevent: "I don't know."

[We make the case for why Axcevent should be lord of nightmares.]
Anton: "You're the strongest nightmare here."
Axcevent: "Within arm's reach, anyway."

[Axcevent proclaims his dominion over the land of nightmares.]
Anton: "Don't forget to add, 'If anyone wishes to challenge me, step up now.'"
Axcevent: "I don't wanna say that!"

[Axcevent finishes his pronunciation and is filled with massive amounts of power.]
Eric the GM: "Someone is screaming. It might be you."

[Axcevent falls back to the ground.]
Yalia: "Axcevent, you lord of nightmares now?"
Axcevent: "I think so?"
Yalia: "...Kay."

[Axcevent tests his new powers.]
Robert: "I focus on a dream of a cactus coming to life."
Eric the GM: "Okay."
Robert: "I want to make it grow three times in size. Can I do that?"
Eric the GM: "I honestly hadn't thought it through."

[We return back to the throne room. It is time for the challengers to step up to try to claim the title of Lord of Dreams. Axcevent steps up first.]
Aid: *nudges The Paradigm*
The Paradigm: "Huh, what? ...No, I'm cool."

[Axcevent is the new Lord of Dreams.]
Eric the GM: "You feel your consciousness expand in all directions. Otherwise, you feel about the same."
Axcevent: "This wasn't what I expected to be doing today."

[It's all about the timing.]
Anton: "Now that you're controlling dreams, though, there are these Swedish supermodels..."
Eric the GM: "And we call game there."