The Devil Made Me Do It

[eveglass]

The Devil of Greed (aka the Scary Red Dragon) is dead! Sing the praises and hallelujahs! But not for too long, because we're about to embark to the north, to the land of necromancer orcs. I really, really hope we're about to face the Devil of Pride, because if it's the Devil of Lust up there, that would just be weird.


[We continue advancing in the decayed castle. There are, as always, many kobolds about. Adam bemoans Jace's lack of hit points.]
Adam: "If I get sneak attacked by something, I'll probably die."
Eric: "Only if you get sneak attacked effectively."

[Gorka'munda is entangled in a web in a corridor leading to a room full of kobolds, so that none of the other PCs can get past him. We consider what to do about the situation.]
Adam: "Gorka'munda's fire resistant, right?"

[Andrew hadn't actually shown up by this point, so the rest of the group was communally playing his character for him.]
Robert the GM: "There are fifty kobolds in the room."
Eric: "Gorka'munda rages."
Robert the GM: "Most are children."
Eric: "I stand by my statement."

[Gorka'munda is still caught in the web.]
Julie: "Are you sure we can't just set you on fire?"
Adam: "You'd be out of the web by now."

[Sadly, the choice is made for him, as one of the kobolds cast burning hands on the web.]
Andrew: "Sigh. I knew I'd be on fire this session."

[Also trapped in the web is a dire weasel.]
Robert the GM: "The weasel will burn to death."
Andrew: "Is it a fiendish weasel? If so, it's immune to fire."
Adam: "Andrew, you're being me. Stop it."

[Once Gorka'munda makes it past the web, most of the kobolds run away. The rest of the party enters the room.]
Robert the GM: "With his mind-sight, Jace knows there's a dragon at the end of the room."
Adam: "...Okay, I don't tell Gorka'munda."

[In one of the side tunnels is a magical trap. Jace informs Baska that it will summon black tentacle monsters.]
Julie: "I attempt to disable the black tentacle trap. I roll 23. I have to make a reflex save now, don't I?"
Robert the GM: "...Yes."

[Baska is grappled by the tentacles and fails to get herself away.]
Julie: "I can't smart-talk tentacles!"

[Having finally defeated the black tentacles and gotten the treasure behind them, Baska and Bardo check out the sound of someone screaming. They discover a 40-foot pit, empty.]
Baska: (calling down) "Hello?"
Eric: "When all other options fail, resort to communication and diplomacy."

[It turns out that the man who had set off the pit trap is Siann, the bounty hunter who's been tracking Jace.]
Julie: (deadpan) "That man has impeccable timing."

[A line I don't hear nearly enough.]
Adam: "He's probably invisible. Attack the darkness!"

[Ionas, cleric of the justice god Eliath, dispels Siann's invisibility by slapping him.]
Ionas: "No one can hide from justice!"

[Gorka'munda starts beating up Siann.]
Sabina: "Should we tell Gorka'munda not to kill him?"
Eric: "Why would we prevent him from killing this extremely annoying character?"

[The party kills Siann and takes his treasure. Among other things are some brightly-colored, sweet-smelling rocks. We have no idea what they do.]
Andrew: "Screw it; I eat one."
Robert the GM: "...It's delicious."
Sabina: "Does it do anything?"
Andrew: "Makes me happy?"
Robert the GM: "And slightly less healthy."

[Siann's blade is coated with poison.]
Andrew: "What kind of poison?"
Sara (Adam's girlfriend): "Taste it!"

[We come to the final room of the castle.]
Robert the GM: "There are piles of junk everywhere."
Julie: "Mine!"

[Also in the room is a red dragon. Gorka'munda enters first and promptly takes the brunt of its breath weapon.]
Andrew: "Well, on the upside, it didn't hit the party."

[Gorka'munda is hit by the red dragon's breath weapon.]
Gorka'munda: "Ow!"
Eric: "Cheer up, you now qualify for several new feats."

[To be a better combatant, Jace polymorphs into a pyro-hydra, never knowing that Gorka'munda has apparently sworn some sort of blood-oath against all hydras.]
Andrew: "I really wish you had chosen the ent, honestly."

[Gorka'munda challenges the hydra -- i.e. Jace -- to single combat. In the middle of our fight with the red dragon.]
Eric: "I salute Andrew for this. This is a beautiful moment."

[Adam reflects on the situation.]
Adam: "If you kill my character, I will come back with a ranger whose favored enemy is ogre."

[Sabina's turn in the combat comes around.]
Sabina: "I'm wondering what the best thing to do here would be."
Eric: "Scream and run away."

[Lines I don't hear nearly often enough, part 2.]
Andrew: "I've always wanted to grapple a dragon."

[Baska's strength is her ability to sneak attack. Her weakness is her lack of hit points.]
Julie: "I dislike being on the same side of the room as everyone else."

[Baska does what any good rogue should do.]
Julie: "Our hero heroically hides under the stairs."

[In the end, the dragon is defeated. But we were about one breath weapon shot away from a TPK.]
Robert the GM: "I was actually afraid the dragon was gonna win this fight."

[Robert the GM randomly rolls the dragon's treasure. There's a bunch of good stuff, but also a bunch of junk.]
Adam: "It's Red Dragon: hoarders edition."

[We come back to town and visit the mayor.]
Andrew: "I drop the dragon's head on the mayor's desk like it's no big deal."

[Apparently everyone thought the red dragon was dead.]
Ionas: "So no bounty on it, then?"
Baska: "Who are you, me?"

[The red dragon everyone thinks is dead is an ancient wyrm. The dragon we killed is much younger.]
Gorka'munda: "You tell everyone in town that Gorka'munda's ka killed Raisk's son."
Baska: "Daughter."
Gorka'munda: "Shut up, gobbo."

[In addition to the dragon, we inform the mayor about the fate of the dwarven miners, who were all killed by kobolds.]
Baska: "Condolences on the loss of your people."
Mayor: "What people?"
Baska: "The miners."
Mayor: "Oh, them."

[Baska returns the ring of reduce person to its rightful owner.]
Baska: "The name's Baska, in case you need to know who you're not hunting down."
Adam: "Shouldn't you have given one of your aliases?"
Julie: "Baska is one of my aliases."

[Jace finds his companion Nestorius passed out drunk in an alley.]
Nestorius: "I was robbed! I woke up and my money was gone."
Jace: "We found it. It's in the cash-box at the Braided Beard."

[Traveling back to Tork, we pass by a small town where there have been greater than usual goblin attacks.]
Julie: "We just killed a red dragon -- goblins are below my notice!"

[Ionas casts divination to try to figure out where to go next.]
Robert the GM: "I'm trying to think of a good way to give a cryptic answer."

[It turns out we need to go north, to the land of a necromancer orc. We have a brief flashback to The Voice of Doom.]
Gorka'munda: "The lands are full of things that should be dead but are not."
Julie: "Shame Lyanna's not here."

[Ionas may be a cleric, but he's no Radiant Servant of Pelor.]
Gorka'munda: "Cleric of Eliath, are your powers to control the undead strong?"
Ionas: "Nope!"

[The question is: how to get where we're going? The answer: get teleported. Again.]
Ionas: "We need another favor. The fate of the world still depends on it."

[With horror, we realize that Gorka'munda is the only one of us who speaks Orcish.]
Andrew: "For once, I'm going to need to do all the talking."

[For reasons beyond his control, Eric will not be playing for the next three months or so.]
Eric: "The really funny part is that I won't be here after next week, so you won't have any clerics!"


And that's it for this time! Tomorrow, we head up to the lands of necromancer orcs... potentially without any clerics at all. Fun times, fun times!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Jace actually speaks Orcish! (you can thank whatever gods you worship now) Also Sara is spelled without an h (she immediately told me to mention :P)

[eveglass.livejournal.com]

Sara has been corrected.

Actually, I knew that Jace speaks Orcish; just didn't think of it. Baska still wants to learn from Gorka'munda, though, because he'll infuse more of the culture into the lessons than Jace would. She'll go to Jace for clarification. *grin*

[(Anonymous)]

The more people with Orcish as a language other then Gorka'munda the better in my books!