Buckle Those Swashes 2.0

[eveglass]

The Gaius is dead! Long live the Gaius! Now let's all get out of here before yet more people try to kill us for what we've done. It's all in a days work for Our Heroes (tm) of 7th Sea!


[As we prepare our plans to attack the Gaius of Ussura, we take stock of our assets.]
Kyn the GM: (to Ian) "Well, you have one thing that'll surprise him."
Julie: "Mammoth?"
Ian: "A Frenchman?"

[Gérard is getting better at his insults.]
Breanan: "I have a full supply of knowledge."
Gérard: "Yes, it is pristine, still in the package."

[Some plans are complex and elaborate. Some, not so much.]
Ian: "My plan is to sit on him."

[André has arranged that his fellow churchmen will provide a distraction by processing through the streets while we sneak in to kill the Gaius.]
Kyn the GM: "Before dawn, the church bells start ringing."
Breanan: "Wait! We can't go to church! We have to do an assassination!"

[The secret entrance to the palace is through a sewer grate.]
Ian: "I jump in."
Kyn the GM: "Whoa!... Splash!... Hey, there were steps!"

[In the palace, we come across a bored-looking guard in an antechamber to the dungeons.]
Gérard: (to Breanan) "Think! You are not a knight right now. You are a skulker!"
Breanan: "I don't know what that is."

[Gérard is so stealthy he occasionally overlooks the obvious.]
Marc: "I look through the keyhole."
Ian: "I slide the eye-grate."
Gérard: "...Show-off."

[Kyn the GM rolled very well for a few of the guards a little further into the palace.]
Marc: "Wow, a not-inept guard. I wasn't expecting that."

[Still skulking through the palace, Gérard gives some helpful advice to Breanan.]
Gérard: "I want you to resist needless heroics."

[Breanan proves that he is utterly incapable of doing anything sneaky. Ever.]
Marc: "I sneak up behind the guards..."
Breanan: (shouting and pointing) "Montaignais!"

[To escape some guards, Gérard slips into a side-room occupied by a little old lady. Who can transform into a bear. He beats a hasty retreat.]
Kyn the GM: "A bear paw comes through the door."
Julie: "Well, there goes the element of surprise."

[Almost to the Gaius' chambers, we encounter yet another brute squad, this time led by one of their captains. André transforms into a mammoth and Marietta helps out by decaying the walls around him so he can navigate.]
Ian: "This is finally the adventure where me and Julie are gonna go through drama dice."

[Kyn the GM tries to figure out what the brutes will do when they encounter André in the form of a wooly mammoth.]
Kyn the GM: "What are they gonna do? Fuck, there's a mammoth in front of them!"
Marc: "And a Gaius behind them."
Kyn the GM: "...Yes."

[In addition to the captain of the guards, there is also a lieutenant. Gérard and Breanan decide who will fight whom.]
Gérard: "Rock-paper-scissors. Winner gets the big one."
Breanan: "No, no. Go after him. When you fall, I'll get him."

[Gérard fights the captain of the guards.]
Kyn the GM: "You take seven points of damage."
Marc: "Just seven? There's something else coming."
Kyn the GM: "Yeah."

[We take out the captain, the lieutenant, and the brutes and arrive at the Gaius' private chambers.]
Kyn the GM: "The Gaius is standing there."
Ian: "So this is where I allow Kyn to have his dramatic speech, right?"
Kyn the GM: "Oh, great! The one time I don't have one!"

[The fight starts, as things go somewhat poorly for Our Heroes (tm).]
Kyn the GM: "Don't worry. Matushka knows what she's doing. And by Matushka, I mean me."

[André, as a wooly mammoth, is fighting the Gaius, who has taken the form of a white tiger. Also in the room is a woman who has transformed into a firebird. Gérard and Breanan, yet again, decide who they need to fight.]
Gérard: "You go after the tiger. I'll distract the firebird."
Breanan: "You bastard, you're leaving me alone with it!"
Marietta: "Well, you and the mammoth."

[Meanwhile, Marietta has different priorities.]
Julie: "I think my job is to stay out of this fight."

[The Gaius' wife, Katerina, arrives.]
Katerina: "Let my husband go."
Breanan: "My lady, with all due respect, we're here to kill him."

[Katerina also changes into a white tiger and kills her husband, revealing herself to be the new Gaius. The firebird turns out to have been one of the regional rulers of Ussura and also the Handmaiden of Ussura in Marietta's secret society.]
Julie: "Well, the good news is at least I don't have to send a report."

[Breanan is not necessarily pleased at what he has just done, despite the positive outcome.]
Ian: (to Pat) "Welcome to the world of gray that we tossed Gérard into ages ago."


And that's it for this time! Next time... who knows!