A Jew ruminates on Christmas presents

[eveglass]

As you all know, I'm Jewish. Despite that, I've been celebrating Christmas Day with Ian's family for the last eight or nine years, and consequently, I've been exposed to the flurry of Christmas present giving and receiving. Even if I don't exchange presents with my own family, Ian's family buys me presents and it's only fair that I reciprocate. Yesterday, in fact, I had a $2 gift exchange (in which everyone, I think, spent more than $2) with Ian, Kristin, and Marc. Add to that the presents circulating by Ian's father, sister, and cousins, and there were quite a large number of presents under the tree.

I just wasn't into it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be a Scrooge. If other people like giving and receiving presents, more power to them. But for me, there isn't actually all that much that I want, in terms of physical objects. And the stuff I do want is either too expensive for me to reasonably request it as a gift (eg: scanner, new ipod, etc.) or personalized enough that I'd want to be at the store when it was purchased (eg: clothing). And while I'm grateful for the thought and time and money that people put into getting my presents, I really have no need for a Jelly Belly dispenser in the shape of a gumball machine or a four-set of crystal tea-light holders or a glass flower. And I'm sure most of the gifts that other people received yesterday fall into the same category of, "Oh... how nice."

I'm not sure what I'm going to do about this for next year. Maybe I'll let people know I'd prefer services, like cooking classes or a massage. Or maybe that I don't want gifts at all. I don't know.

Anyone else in this situation?

Comments

[emerlion.livejournal.com]

You could ask that in lieu of gifts, if they could make a donation to your favorite/their favorite charity, or ask for baked goods/foodstuffs, which are always practical.

It's something that I'm thinking of doing as well.

[eveglass.livejournal.com]

I'm contemplating that, yes. Good idea.

[soch.livejournal.com]

Thankfully living in Israel solved that one for me. The only christmas stuff I get is the occasional card, and I'm always glad to get real snail-mail, and to send some myself.

[xothia.livejournal.com]

Unless I'm dating someone, I don't buy Christmas gifts. I'm a Jew, everyone knows that. And I hate Things I Don't Need.

I bake for people. And if someone wants to show love to me, I explain to them the situation and I tend to get some awesome baked goods in return. Or something of the sort. People are always understanding, and often relieved that I said something. WHo really uses tealights, anyhow???

Heck, instead of some nick-knack, you can get a nice box of chocolates, or whatever falls in the price-range agreed upon. And that never goes to waste :).

[scjody.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me pretty much. For the past few years my presents have mostly been stuff I don't need or want, for mostly the reasons you mention. That and if I want something, I'll usually just go buy it rather than waiting for someone else to.

This year, I managed to convince my family not to do presents. Most of my relatives already don't give me presents anymore, and neither do my friends, so I only got useless stuff from my grandparents (both sets) and one family friend. Not great but not too bad :)

I honestly don't get it, really. Why do people feel obliged to give each other things they know probably won't be appreciated? Why do they stress out over it so much and spend so much money?

[eveglass.livejournal.com]

At least I was spared actually spending money this year. Due to the nature of the $2 gift exchange, all my gifts were either books from my collection that I thought the recipient would like (and that I no longer desperately wanted on my shelves) or taken from a pile of never-opened gifts my mom received during her years of teaching, that we keep for just such an occasion.

Listening to my colleagues talk about the money they were spending for Christmas presents, I was quite frankly shocked... and very, very glad my family doesn't do gift-giving except for the children. (Who, at the moment, are all grown up... at least until I have kids of my own.)

[scjody.livejournal.com]

Yeah, people spend an amazing amount. Our family never went in for big gifts, so it always amazes me to see people buying big TVs, video game systems, etc.

I'll have to remember the $2 thing if I ever need to do gift exchanges with friends again :)

And yeah, I didn't spend much either. My sister's heading off on an around the world adventure so I gave her some money, and that's about it.

[(Anonymous)]

In general, I reached something like this point some years ago, where in the main anything I especially *wanted* I got for myself throughout the year. Sometimes I forgo little ones just so people can get it for me instead. Othertimes people tend to give gift cards to bookstores or stuff that touches on a Known Interest. Sometimes they find stuff I wouldn't have thought of for myself and its perfect (ex. last year was a 1970's "Tolkien Scrapbook", this year a collection of "What If" essays by historians & a brick from the Cavern Club). But even if not, and I get some mathom I will likely end up re-gifting elsewhere, I am at least grateful they thought enough of me to make the effort at all. THAT is the true gift to me.
My SO has a theory about, when possible, trying to get people things they can't get for themselves. Last year she got me front-row seats & backstage passes at a concert. This year, as she stresses out over health & work, a spa weekend that was really a Day of Peace was her gift (everyone else got "Forbidden Pennsic" dvds ;-) . You, for example, might give everyone the gift of one of your performances.

Doesn't matter how much, or even if, you spend. It really is the thought that counts...and letting people know they matter to you.
That's my take on it, at least.

[squidmark.livejournal.com]

maybe you could ask for tea and/or tea related products? i'd bet those would go to good use!