Why you shouldn't study biology before 8 am

So I woke up to find Marc studying. There was a picture in his textbook about the recycling of red blood cells. He tried to explain it to me. This is what I got out of it: (Warning: do not drink while you're reading this)

1. Red blood cells are like porters ("May I take your bags to the spleen, sir?"). They do their jobs for 100 days, and then they stop doing their job so well. ("You idiot, this isn't the spleen!") So their boss eats them. (Oh, no! Cannibalism!)

2. The globins get sent back for recycling, while the hemes (c'mon, pronounce it as "hee-mee," even if it's wrong) sits around like the ghost of hemes past. (Cue spooky ghost music.)

3. The non-iron part of the heme goes out with an escort (all doled up in high heels and everything), who promptly dumps him in the colon. ("You bitch!")

4. The iron part of the heme also goes out with an escort, but he gets sent to prison for making bad Charles Dickens references. Eventually he's let out on good behaviour (and promising not to make any more Charles Dickens references), but he has to go get his old job back as a porter. ("May I take your bags to liver, sir?")

5. Repeat.

Paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate

That's what today has felt like. On the upside: helped prepped for a party. On the downside: due to asthma, I probably won't be attending the party itself.

Also on the downside: asthma. Stupid body.