A bit of introspection
Nov. 15th, 2005 11:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eveglassTo get the mundane stuff out of the way: I watched B5 today. It contained Bester, Draal, the Zog people, Marcus, G'kar on drugs, G'kar hurting Londo, G'kar having a religious epiphany... in short, everything I love about the series. In further happy-making news, I completley finished my second toque and the only schoolwork I need to do until Thursday is a bit of research for Materials. I am officially not doing any schoolwork tomorrow morning.
And now, on to the introspection!
It occured to me today that it was in the month of November, 1995, that I first began being friends with Eric. I also became friends with two other people who I have since lost touch with. Of all the people I knew in high school, Eric is the only one I keep in regular contact with. With the sole exception of family, he is the only person I speak to on a regular basis (as opposed to accidentally meeting on the street, for example) who has known me for ten years, almost to the day.
I came to my first SCA practice on May 18th, 1999. (Those who know me best will note that this was my birthday. A completely coincidental and unrelated occurance, but good for remembering the date.) That means the SCAdians who were present at that first practice have known me for just under six and a half years. All my other SCAdian friends, many of whom I consider close friends, have known me for less time than that.
I met many of my current group of friends at Dawson sci-fi. I first met all these people the second day of fall semester, 1999. The people who at the table in the lower atrium that day (including Ian) have known me for about six years and three months. I met other people in the club later and was drawn into that particular group of friends.
All this to say that with the exception one person (and family), absolutely everyone I now consider a friend or acquaintance has known me for less than six and a half years. By quick caluclation (given that I will be 23 and a half in three days), this works out to just over a quarter of my life.
I do not count my life in distinct reincarnations, but if I were to do so, the period between May and September 1999 would be a good time to note a shift. If nothing else, my social situation and environment completely changed, and I believe this had a profound effect on my personality.
I do not think that I will ever have as abrupt a change again. I doubt that I will ever have a break as clean as the summer after I left high school. I love my friends too much to allow myself to drift away from them, and I suspect the same is true in reverse. I continue to accumulate new friends and acquaintaces, but it would take a life change bigger than moving cities to shake off the many people I have surrounded myself with over the past six years. To be honest, I'm quite grateful for this. I don't want an abrupt change again.
At the same time, it's been making me think about how we all change over time, how the people we are now are not the same people we were ten, five, or even one year ago. (How's that for a complex sentence!) The changes are sometimes imperceptable, but they do add up. It's inevitable. It's one of the unavoidable effects of being alive in the world.
And, as I write this, I wonder how I am changing now, right this very minute. I wonder how the things I hear and read are changing me in ways I cannot detect, day by day. And I wonder that the same thing is happening to everyone else I know. And I wonder whether in the years to come we will still be friends, or whether we will drift apart. I hope for the former, but know that the latter shall happen as well, and that is also part of life.
And I hope that, having gotten to the end of this brief bit of philosophizing, you are able to take something useful and thought-provoking from it. Or, at the very least, that you have successfully spent the last five minutes procrastinating. I know I've spent 20 minutes writing this (23 according to the time-stamp), and that's 23 minutes of my life I'll never get back. I hope it was worth it.
And now, on to the introspection!
It occured to me today that it was in the month of November, 1995, that I first began being friends with Eric. I also became friends with two other people who I have since lost touch with. Of all the people I knew in high school, Eric is the only one I keep in regular contact with. With the sole exception of family, he is the only person I speak to on a regular basis (as opposed to accidentally meeting on the street, for example) who has known me for ten years, almost to the day.
I came to my first SCA practice on May 18th, 1999. (Those who know me best will note that this was my birthday. A completely coincidental and unrelated occurance, but good for remembering the date.) That means the SCAdians who were present at that first practice have known me for just under six and a half years. All my other SCAdian friends, many of whom I consider close friends, have known me for less time than that.
I met many of my current group of friends at Dawson sci-fi. I first met all these people the second day of fall semester, 1999. The people who at the table in the lower atrium that day (including Ian) have known me for about six years and three months. I met other people in the club later and was drawn into that particular group of friends.
All this to say that with the exception one person (and family), absolutely everyone I now consider a friend or acquaintance has known me for less than six and a half years. By quick caluclation (given that I will be 23 and a half in three days), this works out to just over a quarter of my life.
I do not count my life in distinct reincarnations, but if I were to do so, the period between May and September 1999 would be a good time to note a shift. If nothing else, my social situation and environment completely changed, and I believe this had a profound effect on my personality.
I do not think that I will ever have as abrupt a change again. I doubt that I will ever have a break as clean as the summer after I left high school. I love my friends too much to allow myself to drift away from them, and I suspect the same is true in reverse. I continue to accumulate new friends and acquaintaces, but it would take a life change bigger than moving cities to shake off the many people I have surrounded myself with over the past six years. To be honest, I'm quite grateful for this. I don't want an abrupt change again.
At the same time, it's been making me think about how we all change over time, how the people we are now are not the same people we were ten, five, or even one year ago. (How's that for a complex sentence!) The changes are sometimes imperceptable, but they do add up. It's inevitable. It's one of the unavoidable effects of being alive in the world.
And, as I write this, I wonder how I am changing now, right this very minute. I wonder how the things I hear and read are changing me in ways I cannot detect, day by day. And I wonder that the same thing is happening to everyone else I know. And I wonder whether in the years to come we will still be friends, or whether we will drift apart. I hope for the former, but know that the latter shall happen as well, and that is also part of life.
And I hope that, having gotten to the end of this brief bit of philosophizing, you are able to take something useful and thought-provoking from it. Or, at the very least, that you have successfully spent the last five minutes procrastinating. I know I've spent 20 minutes writing this (23 according to the time-stamp), and that's 23 minutes of my life I'll never get back. I hope it was worth it.
