Academic insecurity

[eveglass]

(Yes, I know I'm posting a lot today. Sue me.)

I've just finsihed spending an hour in the library. I feel no further along than I did an hour ago.

I'm sure I remember that I used to know how to use a library. When I was doing my undergrad, I used the library all the time. And used it well, I hope, because I managed to get fairly decent grades on my papers. I got into grad school, didn't I?

So why is it, now that I'm doing my Master's, I feel like a total idiot? I'm drowing in information. For any TINY subject, there are dozens or hudreds of books, and at least as many articles. I was browsing through the journals that the PIMS library gets, and there are at least a dozen on medieval monasticism. And these are quarterly or even monthly journals! There's an entire journal devoted to studies about Thomas More! And another one on early mysticism!

I have no idea what I'm going to write about for my final term paper for my Intro to Medieval Christianity class. Every topic I come up with is either too broad or has a hundred books written on it already (so any work I do would be completely superfluous). I need to have a proposal (with bibliography!) ready by Thursday. The prof is out of touch until Tuesday. This does not give me much time to get help.

Miri, Emily: do either of you feel the same way? Andrew: DID you, back when you started your MA? I'm completely overwhelmed and have no idea what I'm doing anymore. Tell me I'm not the only one.

Comments

[jasmine-koran.livejournal.com]

If it comes down to it, I'd choose the superfluous option. Easier to write, and saves you a massive headache down the road. Plus, maybe once you've started researching the superfluous opton, you can narrow it down to something a little more underexplored.

[eveglass.livejournal.com]

True, but I'm still left with the problem of there being SO MANY books on any particular topic. I feel like I CAN'T start with anything general, because I'll be swamped and won't know where to start. I wish the prof was available so that I could ask him. Serves me right for waiting so long.

[jasmine-koran.livejournal.com]

Could be worse. For my latest project (due in a week), I'm supposed to be researching the arctic char (a variety of fish) in the Truelove Lowland. On the plus side, the cladogram (a diagram showing the species and its relationships with related taxa) is easy to draw because there ARE no other dish in that particular area. So my graph is basically "Here char, here every other vertebrate. Tah-dah". On the other hand, there are NO papers about the ecological relationships of these fucking fish ANYWHERE. The best I can get is discussion about how stress affects the flavor of their meat. Wow.

[alethea-eastrid.livejournal.com]

yup. that's worse!

[faulxbourdon.livejournal.com]

i feel like an idiot when i'm in latin, and when i have to do something that's not directly related to medieval music or high medieval theology... but, i'm quite certain that i really want to spend the rest of my life studying sequences and updating the quellenangaben in analecta hymnica.... take an idea out of medieval chrisitan treatises and follow it through a couple- like something that augustine says and then follow it through say, anselm of canterbury and aquinas... or don't, because anselm is deadly boring and I'm convinced that he couldn't think clearly... or come over and watch luther with me in german and i'll make you soy cocoa... or you could find a sisterbook (oh so fun!) and talk about mortification of the flesh.... if you get nuns who were interested in that (unterlinden!!!).

[eveglass.livejournal.com]

Alas, tonight I'm at my aunt and uncle's and can't make it over to watch Luther. Another time, for sure!

Don't Panic!

[schizmatic.livejournal.com]

The first year of grad school is always pretty frustrating. In the first place, there's the panic that comes with realizing that there are incredible gaps that you didn't even know existed in your education. Once the shock of that wears off, you find yourself drowning in secondary literature, much of it written in Foreign. There is a strong urge to curl up in a corner and hide from the world.

There are a few necessary strategies to cope. The first is again that which we are told by the Hitchiker's Guide: Don't Panic! Another important one is to be able to focus on what you're working on: Like Joe Goering has doubtless already told you in "Materials of Medieval History," a lot of this is just about "pulling on threads," as it were, following the interesting footnotes, and then following more footnotes, etc.

As for how to come up with a term paper topic, first off, don't wear yourself ragged by worrying, "But I've got to produce original scholarship!" You will be able to find something, so stay calm. There's always an angle that hasn't been addressed.

More importantly, think about the primary and secondary sources that you've been going through. If you think best while walking around, go for a walk (it's especially nice now that it's brisk), if you think best while sitting, do that. Whatever is your best state for turning things over in your head, get yourself into it.

Once there, turn the stuff over in your head and ask, "Do I have any particular questions that jump out to me about this material?" Once you've got one or two questions. Go to the library and start to look for answers to those particular questions (Iter and IMB are your friends).

There's a very good chance that one of those questions will wind up furnishing you with a paper topic. It's not a failsafe method, but it helps to get within striking distance.

A bigger piece of advice I have is to relax and have fun. As acrabtree and I have often noted in our fond reminiscences of our MA year, we had a lot of fun (though there were five of us then)--we went ice-skating, went sledding, watched M.'s anime, played boggle, built a snowman, played English and Latin scrabble, simply hung out, read Old English and Latin together, cooked, played in my Dark Ages: Vampire game, drank (I think that I drank more in my MA year than in any other single year in my life), went to a bee festival, and many other things that I don't even remember.

We were also incredibly productive that year. An approach of working hard and playing hard makes you a much more productive worker than if you simply run yourself into the ground by working at all hours.

This, as you have it, is my advice.

And on a only tangentially related note, I've given you acrabtree's e-mail address so that you can get into touch with him on his WoD game that he's spinning up. We hope to have you there.

Re: Don't Panic!

[eveglass.livejournal.com]

Thanks for all the advice, Andrew. I appreciate it. I will listen to Saint Douglas and not panic. I've got a topic for my two other classes, I *will* find one for this third. Actually, I discovered that Sinkewicz has a few sample paper topics listed on the course web page and I may use one of them as a starting point. Because what I'm doing for the other two classes deals with monasteries, I want my last paper to have nothing at all to do with monasteries, so I can take a break occasionally.

And I am having a good time. Massey is my friend in this respect. Tonight, for example, I'm gonna be dealing poker. Tomorrow we're having a potluck thanksgiving dinner. So in the end, I am having fun. It just gets frustrating sometimes to go into the library and feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.

And I've been chatting with the other Andrew and it looks like I will indeed be in the game (though I may miss the first session or two). Thanks for passing along the invite!

[mediaevalrose.livejournal.com]

Heehee...I think yesterday was "kill me, I shouldn't be at UofT doing my MA! I'm STUPID" day....I felt swamped, as did my flatmate Christina...don't worry, you're not alone!:-)
*hugs*