Winds of Vesperia

[eveglass]

The good news: we've recovered Bast. The bad news: he's still infected and there's nothing we can do about it. But it's okay, we're leaving him with other people.


[Kyn the GM randomly rolls some treasure before game. He hits upon one thing in particular...]
Kyn the GM: "I feel bad for you guys."
Julie: "What are you giving us?"
Kyn the GM: "I don't know."

[In fact, Kyn the GM has rolled a Deck of Many Things.]
Kyn the GM: "If you never use this, I'm okay with that."

[We pick up where last game ended, with everyone waking up after being psi blasted by Zorn.]
Kyn the GM: (to Marc) "Your brain feels like it went through a blender."
Marc: "No, I've had that before -- that was when I failed my roll against the book."

[Sela wakes up next.]
Sela: "What happened?"
Garrett: "I poked Zorn."

[The other characters slowly gain consciousness.]
Kyn the GM: "Tyanna starts waking up."
Marc: "I give her a look that says, 'We will have words. Later.'"

[Aradon also wakes up, and comes back to reality a little slower than the rest of us.]
Aradon: "Oh, this is what alcohol feels like. Get me a second, wench."
Garrett: *glares at him*
Aradon: "God, you're ugly! And I'm sober!"

[Aradon does what comes naturally.]
Aradon: "I found something!"
Secundus Tyanna: "What are you doing?!"
Aradon: "I found a secret door!"
Secundus Tyanna: "Yes, to my church!"
Garrett: "Old habits die hard."

[Kyn the GM weighs in on Aradon's secret door discovery.]
Kyn the GM: "Honestly, searching for hidden doors in a church of secrets, when the high priest is watching!"

[Everyone is awake... and injured.]
Garrett: *heals everyone for 44 hp*
Kyn the GM: "Excellent, now I can kill you for real!"

[We have managed to capture Bast. We have not managed to make him cooperative.]
Secundus Tyanna: "Can someone force the cat-thing to tell us where my acolytes are?"
Bast: (suggestively) "Oh, yes, Jass -- force me!"

[We go off in search of Secundus Tyanna's acolytes. Bast provides helpful advice.]
Bast: "You know what you guys should do? Split up. It's the fastest way to search."

[We find the acolytes chained down in the cathedral's library. After some discussion about the fact that we have no way of knowing whether they've been infected by Zorn, Tyanna orders them to be freed. While Aradon is picking the padlock, Sela uses her adamantine sword to sunder the chains.]
Kyn the GM: *grinning* "You sunder the chains?"
Julie: "..."
Marc: "You may just have killed twenty acolytes."
Kyn the GM: "She did just kill twenty acolytes."

[Kyn the GM, upset that we managed to capture Bast, is happy that at least some of his plans are coming to fruition.]
Kyn the GM: "I'm so glad no one searched the chains!"

[But wait, the problems aren't even close to over!]
Kyn the GM: "The sky is full of riders. They don't seem to be interested in landing, just harrying the guards on the wall."
Garrett: "Why would they do that?"
Sela: "Because they're waiting for something."

[The guards on the walls are slowly getting picked off by barrels of flaming oil, trebuchets, and the like. Garrett wants to help them and isn't happy with the answers he's getting.]
Garrett: "This isn't my area of expertise. That's why I'm asking the field tactician."
Sela: "The field tactician says we need to fall back."

[Sela and Lucius go up to the walls to tell the soldiers to fall back.]
Kyn the GM: "You realize the spears aren't being fired from a trebuchet -- it's a troll."

[We fall back into the cathedral. We know that all churches of Sigil have secret escape routes. The question is where.]
Marc: "I seriously doubt the avariel have any secret underground tunnels."
Charles: "They have secret overground tunnels. It's called 'the air.'"

[Secundus Tyanna reveals to Garrett that there is a means of escape: a secret wind tunnel just above the church.]
Secundus Tyanna: "Do all of you have feather fall?"
Charles: "I have wings-- oh, wait."

[Tyanna has only revealed the location of the wind tunnel to Garrett.]
Marc: "We're gonna head to the wind tunnel."
Julie: "Are you gonna tell the rest of us that?"
Marc: "Eventually."

[Garrett reveals the plan.]
Garrett: "There's a way out. You're not going to like it."

[We reach the secret room that leads to the wind tunnel. In it, we find a number of items that might be considered treasure if they didn't belong to the church.]
Kyn the GM: "I'm giving you your magic items. I'm the laziest GM ever. Just take it."

[Among the items is the aforementioned Deck of Many Things, wrapped in silk cloth, with a symbol of 'extreme danger' placed upon it.]
Garrett: *takes the deck from Jass*
Jass: "Wait, but--"
Marc: "Garrett has a look of 'I'm gonna take this bomb from you.'"
Jass: "Good. I'm glad you have that."

[Garrett looks at the silk-wrapped package.]
Marc: "What's the knowledge: arcana on this?"
Kyn the GM: "First you need to know what it is."
Julie: "All you know right now is it's a bomb."

[Bast is still with us, and undoubtedly still has a few tricks up his sleeve.]
Sela: "So, strip him naked and a cavity search?"
Bast: *looks hopefully at Jass*

[We decide whether to take Bast with us or not.]
Aradon: "He heard the knock. If we leave him here, he'll kill the Secundus."
Kyn the GM: "...Damn you, Pat!"

[We knock Bast out, somewhat brutally.]
Kyn the GM: "You just watched Aradon pummel his face in."
Pat: "No, the back of his head. Not the face!"

[We enter the wind tunnel. None of us have wings, but some of us have more dex than others.]
Tony: "I feel like the elves are graceful arrows and Garrett's a cannonball."

[We fly through the wind tunnel.]
Charles: "Lucius will take the few brief moments to enjoy flying."
Garrett: "I hate this."

[As we exit the wind tunnel, Bast makes a suicide dive towards the ground. We try to figure out how to prevent him from dying.]
Marc: "Octopi are extremely soft..."
Kyn the GM: "I feel so bad for that octopus!"

[We manage to save Bast from death. As if he was ever really in danger.]
Bast: "It was a heroic suicide. I felt so bad for what I did to those poor people, I just had to die. [beat] You're not buying it, are you?"

[Bast is still trying to sow dissension among the PCs. We decide it's best to just gag him.]
Garrett: *takes off sock*
Bast: "Paladin, this is torture!"
Lucius: "There's a fine line between torture and justice."

[Esmeralda's Revenge, i.e. Jass' ship, arrives and brings everyone aboard, including Bast. Jass gives him the 5-cent tour on the way to the brig.]
Jass: "You've gotta break her in. I was rough with her. Look, she's missing one of the masts."

[Sela has gotten a lift back to the ship on her eagle.]
Kyn the GM: "You can tell Therrion's conflicted -- he hasn't offered to eat Bast yet."

[Bast tries to figure out why Jass has been hunting him all this time.]
Bast: (unconvinced) "Right, so this had nothing to do with the bounty on my head."
Julie: "The 5-copper bounty."

[Jass places Bast in the brig and gets off one parting line before he leaves.]
Jass: "You will never have me. Just remember that."
Bast: "The game is still young."

[Aradon is set to watch Bast.]
Pat: "I'm keeping watch on Bast."
Kyn the GM: *grins*

[Bast decides to have some fun with his jailor.]
Bast: "Just ask Jass, when I escape, is it because I'm that damn good or because the infestation is even here, under your nose?"

[Some light conversation between captor and captee.]
Bast: "How long do you think it'll take me to get out of here with you watching me?"
Aradon: "I don't know. How long?"
Bast: "It depends how stupid you are."

[Bast was always the party rogue. He gets the door open in fairly short order. Aradon raises the alarm and Jass races back to see what's up.]
Bast: "Ooh, I'm up to no good. Hug me?"

[Bast is also being highly successful in sowing the seeds of paranoia and discord among the crew. Garrett is sadly nowhere near as diplomatic as Bast is.]
Garrett: "Bast is an extremely competent liar."
Bast: "And sometimes the truth is the best explanation."
Garrett: "As often as you tell it, I'll worry when I hear it."

[Bast has successfully opened his cell at least twice. We discuss whether it's worth it for Garrett to magically seal the door.]
Bast: "Yes, lock it so you can't open it from the other side. Now, is that a double-bluff because I don't want you to do it, or a triple-bluff because I do?"

[Meanwhile, Sela has returned to the ship, highly repentant for what happened to the acolytes of Sigil.]
Lucius: "It doesn't matter the god -- what matters is the deed and the intent."
Sela: "I hope Sigil appreciates that."

[Sela goes to her room to pray for forgiveness.]
Tony: "Jass will also pray for forgiveness, which he doesn't do very often."
Charles: "You've done it several times."
Tony: "Twice."

[Aradon is getting tired and must sleep. The question is who will relieve him.]
Tony: "I'll go watch Bast."
Kyn the GM: "You just love inflicting pain on yourself, huh?"

[As Jass is trying to calm down his crew from Bast's paranoia, the engines go dead.]
Julie: "Sabotage -- yay!"

[Garrett and Jass rush to the engine room, along with Jass' chief engineer Fix.]
Fix: "I can see it in his eyes, Captain! He thinks I'm behind this!"
Jass: "Do you, Garrett?"
Garrett: "..."

[Fix the engineer figures it was just an unlikely bird flying into the intakes. Garrett questions his expertise.]
Kyn the GM: "Garrett's wearing armor, so he's not gonna punch you, he's gonna hit you with his wrench."

[The wrench does nothing except escalate tensions.]
Fix: "Don't you ever questions my loyalty to my captain!"
Garrett: "I'm questioning your knowledge of your engine."
Fix: *rages*

[Garrett checks out the intakes. Kyn the GM reveals what really happened.]
Kyn the GM: "It was a bird. There was a 5% chance, and I rolled a 3. On the other hand, because you're a paranoid fuck, you can't tell if something flew in or was thrown in."

[Bast revels in the chaos.]
Bast: *smiling* "So I've been here for, what, 40 minutes?"

[Garrett returns from the intakes.]
Garrett: (to Fix) "You have my apology. I'm sorry I questioned your loyalty to your captain. I still think you should know your engine better."
Fix: *rages*

[With that bit of excitement over, Jass takes over from Aradon in watching Bast. Bast makes small talk.]
Bast: "So, who's this douchebag Esmeralda's marrying?"
Jass: "I don't know."

[Jass eventually reveals that Esmeralda is marrying Duke Calayon.]
Bast: "C'mon, name me one story where the duke is the good guy."
Jass: "This one."

[Bast pities Jass for the fact that his love is marrying someone else. Jass is always quick with the repartee.]
Jass: (pointedly) "Unrequited love is the worst."

[Bast and Jass talk about what is to be done with him.]
Bast: "You could just take me back and lock me in a deep, dark dungeon."
Jass: "No, can't take the risk."
Bast: "Because I'm that damn good?"
Jass: "Yeah."
Bast: "...I can't argue with that."

[Bast and Jass eventually agree to just pass the time.]
Bast: "Let's play some dice!"
Marc: "So long as you don't have those cards."
Kyn the GM: "Kaboom!"

[Sela and Lucius, meanwhile, are up on deck.]
Sela: "So, how long do you think it'll be till the next alarm?"
Lucius: "Five minutes after Aradon gets back on duty."
Sela: "Done. Ten silver."

[And, right on cue...]
Kyn the GM: "So, after Aradon gets back on duty, alarms start going off almost immediately."
Sela: *hands 10 silver to Lucius*

[As soon as Aradon gets back, Bast is up to his old tricks.]
Bast: *drops smoke bomb*
Kyn the GM: "Pat, what do you do?"
Pat: "I wait."
Kyn the GM: "The smoke clears. He's still there."

[And for Bast's next trick...]
Bast: *holds up key*
Aradon: "We didn't find that on you."
Charles: "But did you find it in him?"
Julie: "Sela did recommend that."

[Aradon does not fall for the bait of the key.]
Bast: "It was fake." *breaks key*
Pat: "Aradon is biting his fist. It's bleeding."

[We fly from Avari to northern Galandreth, above nothing but open sky.]
Tony: "Wow, Sela's doing what I didn't do."
Kyn the GM: "And none of her people know about Jericho, and she hasn't seen Bast yet."
Julie: "Nope!"

[Julie reflects on the situation with Bast.]
Julie: "There's no right answer. He's gonna outsmart us no matter what."

[Garrett tries to figure out how to deal with Bast.]
Marc: "What are Bast's weaknesses, other than Jass' ass?"

[More of the same.]
Kyn the GM: "You guys are having a meeting to discuss what to do with Bast."
Pat: "Who's watching him while we're having this meeting?"
Kyn the GM: "I assume you're doing it in front of him."

[Aradon notices one of the brain-bugs on the floor and squashes it. Bast begins convulsing, and Garrett rushes in to see what's happening.]
Garrett: "Give me that torch!"
Lucius: *stands behind him*
Garrett: "...Good enough."

[Bast is still alive... sorta.]
Aradon: "I've seen a lot of things in my journeys, but a cleric and a paladin who don't know how to heal? That's going in my book."

[With the brain bug squashed, Bast is temporarily his old self.]
Garrett: "Bast, we'll get this thing out of you."
Bast: "You can't..."
Garrett: "Never tell a dwarf what he can and can't do."

[Bast comes back to his infected self relatively quickly.]
Bast: "Donny, that wasn't very nice of you. Do you know how long it takes me to form one of those?"
Aradon: "How long?"
Bast: "Well, I'm not gonna tell you!"

[As Garrett's leaving the cell...]
Kyn the GM: "You realize the key to the book isn't there."
Marc: "That's impressive -- he got through full plate."
Kyn the GM: "He rolled a 33."

[Garrett realizes Bast has taken his key.]
Bast: *swallows key*
Garrett: "...You're not going to enjoy this."

[Garrett forces Bast to throw up the key, and then magically reduces his intelligence, wisdom, and charisma until he's only slightly better than catatonic.]
Garrett: (to Aradon) "Now you can go undo the damage you caused."

[We bring Bast to a semi-abandoned fortress well away from Last Stand. Of course, T'ainesa immediately wants to know where we are.]
Sela: "She will find out."
Jass: "She will. I'm deluding myself if I think otherwise."

[Jass tries as hard as he can to avoid telling T'ainesa where we are. Sela has no such compunctions.]
Kyn the GM: "You see the alliance flagship appear."
Garrett: "Apparently wearing a crown reduces your wits."

[On the ship are Princess T'ainesa, Duke Calayon, and several generals.]
Garrett: "You should not be here."
Duke Calayon: "Secundus, do me a favor: don't tell me where I can be in my own lands."

[A war council is called.]
Duke Calayon: (formally) "Dearest wife-to-be..."
Jass: "Oof, it just got cold in here!"

[In addition to the problem of Falan's military, there are other obstacles, like the fact that the Great Green Wyrm of northern Falan is stirring. The PCs are being sent to ascertain the situation.]
T'ainesa: "The forest of Falan is littered with dragon corpses, from whelps to adults."
Garrett: "Wonderful."
Sela: "Wonderful."

[We will be heading to northern Falan soon. There are just a few things that need to be done first.]
T'ainesa: "I know we need to restock your ship and fix your mast."
Jass: (suggestively) "Yes, let's talk more about that."

[T'ainesa has arranged for Bast to be taken somewhere safe.]
Kyn the GM: "The mages really want to dissect Bast. Pretty, pretty please?"
Garrett: "No."
Kyn the GM: "The mages are never heard from again."
Marc: (annoyed) "I need them!"
Kyn the GM: "They should have thought of that before they wanted to dissect the queen's best friend."

[Meanwhile, Aradon still has the silver dragon eggs, which he's looking after in his own unique way.]
Pat: "I make sure the eggs are nice and comfy, give them love, tell them stories at night..."

[As we make the preparations to leave...]
Jass: "Lucius, when you have a moment with Sela... not that kind of moment... I mean, after that kind of moment..."
Random Sailor: "When you have sex!"
Lucius: *blushes*

[Lucius delivers Jass' message to Sela. Sorta.]
Sela: "You seem distracted. Let's get you distracted by something worth being distracted by." *kisses him*


And that's it for now! Next time: Falan! Dragons! Combat! You know it's inevitable!