Winds of Vesperia
Aug. 25th, 2013 08:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eveglassWe have a plan! An excellent plan! Sadly, we must first refuel our ship. And when the only two groups that do the refuelling are shady underworld bosses or a plane-wide guild that's looking for an excuse to kill us, there may need to be some improvising involved.
[As we finish last session, Garrett rejoins the group having bid a fond farewell to his friend Merrayn. Perhaps too fond.]
Kyn the GM: "If you've ever seen a dwarf strut, it's like a barrelling, tick-tocking motion."
[Pat had to leave early last session, so he didn't quite find out what happened to DAX in the final fight. Kyn the GM fills him in.]
Kyn the GM: (to Pat) "You have seen things no one should see. You now add one more: a four-way between a dragon and three giant monstrous centipedes, happening right on top of you."
Pat: "I thought I was placed strategically. It was the wrong strategy."
[And, lest anyone should forget, we have our new passenger: the drow priestess Illyria.]
Illyria: (looking up at the sky) "Wow, it's so bright!"
Kyn the GM: "And then eclipse ends."
Illyria: "Oh, Gods, my eyes!"
[Jass brings a shawl for Illyria so she doesn't burn in the sun.]
Tony: "The less skin showing..."
Kyn the GM: "Who are you, and what have you done with Jass?"
[We reflect on the fact that Jass now has two beautiful women on board, both of whom think they're entitled to him.]
Julie: "How many women troubles do you need?"
Tony: "It's an endless cycle. It's like a zen question."
[Naturally, Illyria and Esmeralda come to passive-aggressive barbs.]
Kyn the GM: "Illyria is wiser, so her jabs sting more. But Esmeralda is more charismatic, so hers have the power of perfect delivery."
[Other consequences to the women fighting.]
Kyn the GM: "Jass' bed is empty."
Tony: "Hey, I didn't go into this knowing the consequences! I opened my mouth, things came out, and now I'm paying the consequences. Like always."
[Recall that in Jass' room are the beautiful moonstone-studded sheets worth thousands of silver pieces.]
Kyn the GM: "They are literally what kings sleep on."
Pat: "But they don't sleep alone, usually."
[Jass considers being a gentleman.]
Jass: "I would offer the drow my room."
Esmeralda: (unimpressed) "Uh-huh."
Jass: "For the first two nights."
Sela: "You'd leave her alone with those gorgeous sheets?"
Jass: (meekly) "Yes."
[More of the same.]
Kyn the GM: "Captain?"
Tony: "Who says that?"
Kyn the GM: "Who else says 'captain' with such disdain right now?"
[Esmeralda calls a meeting of the ship's crew and passengers. Sadly for her, that means all of them.]
Esmeralda: (to DAX over their far-speaking rings) "Don't forget the black-skinned harlot."
DAX: (out loud) "Oh. I almost forgot her."
Garrett: "What?"
DAX: "Just the voices in my head."
[Esmeralda and Sela lay out their plan for the next leg of their journey: go to Galandreth, enemy of Falan, to convince one of their dukes to lend their extremely expensive Epsilon-class ship to the crew so we can recover the Bright Dawn and help Esmeralda reclaim her kingdom.]
Jass: "Essie, dear, what's the probability of success? No, wait--"
Sela: "I thought you never wanted to know the odds."
Jass: "That's why I stopped."
[More on Esmeralda and Sela's plan.]
Esmeralda: "If we somehow manage -- I can't believe I'm saying this -- if we manage to pull off a coup, then we're good."
[The rest of the crew respond to the plan.]
Jass: "I like this plan! I'm in all the way!"
Esmeralda: "Are you just saying that because you want to get me in bed?"
Jass: "..."
[If we're going to Galandreth, we need to make a few preparations.]
Sela: "All right, Therrion, you and I need to work on flying in a way that doesn't look like we were trained by Falan."
[Esmeralda sends Garrett to check out the engine room, where Bast previously lived and worked.]
Kyn the GM: "The first thing you realize is Bast was a slob."
Garrett: *sniffs* "And they say I smell."
[Garrett finds Bast's diary and, being a priest of secrets, reads it.]
Kyn the GM: "Bast is exactly as he's always been."
Pat: (as Bast, writing in his diary) "Roses are red / Violets are blue / Boo-hoo-hoo / I'm always the third shoe."
[Garrett checks out the various engine functions.]
Garrett: *taps a gauge*
Kyn the GM: "Well, that can't be good."
Marc: "That's the fuel gauge, isn't it?"
Kyn the GM: "Yup."
[Garrett reports back. Or at least attempts to.]
Garrett: "We have a problem."
Jass: "Don't tell me problems, tell me solutions."
Garrett: "All right..."
Kyn the GM: "Nope, still a problem."
[Garrett finally gets to the heart of the matter.]
Garrett: "We're out of fuel."
Jass: "...Out-out?"
[Jass informs the rest of the crew.]
Jass: "We're almost out of fuel."
Esmeralda: "Oh. This is where I'd usually find Bast and yell at him. [beat] DAX!"
[Esmeralda yells at DAX for a while for not knowing we were low of fuel.]
DAX: "So, I'm allowed in the engine room? Because Bast wouldn't let me in there after what I did last time."
Esmeralda: "No, you're still not allowed in the engine room."
DAX: "So how am I supposed to--"
Esmeralda: "Oh, I see how this is. You know, an artisan doesn't blame his tools, DAX."
DAX: "..."
[Normally, a ship would be refuelled by the Athos guild. Sadly, the Athos guild wants to kill us.]
DAX: (to Esmeralda) "So, what other plans do we have?"
Esmeralda: "...Captain, what other plans do we have?"
[We contemplate plans.]
Jass: "The fourth option is the only third option because there is no third option. It was a terrible option."
[We bring the conversation back around for a moment.]
Esmeralda: "Sela did have a good question: why is the Athos attacking us?"
Sela: "I do have good questions sometimes."
Jass: "And I have good answers sometimes."
Sela: "Do you have one now?"
Jass: "No."
[We can't go to the Athos without them trying to kill us. But there may be another option. It's less legal.]
Kyn the GM: "You arrive at Anjhi. It's an outpost to keep an eye on Falan. So it has three kinds of people: military, prostitutes..."
Tony: "And my kind of people."
[Our plan is to talk to the Hutts, the criminal overlords of this universe.]
Jass: "It's our best terrible plan. As are a lot of our terrible plans."
[Jass and Esmeralda are going to speak with the local Hutt and taking Sela along as a bodyguard.]
Sela: "At what point do I start killing people?"
Esmeralda: "When they try to kill us. That's usually the best time."
[Certain crew members are not going to speak to the Hutts.]
Kyn the GM: "You really want to avoid taking people with a tendency to open their mouths and say rude things." *looks pointedly at Garrett*
[Kyn the GM explains what it's like to visit the Hutts.]
Kyn the GM: "As long as you're beneath the Hutt's roof, it's neutral territory. Because he'll eat you."
[We arrive and mingle with the crowd while waiting for the Hutt to call on us.]
Esmeralda: "Sela, can you not look like a soldier?"
Sela: "Sure."
Julie: "...She can't."
[While waiting to talk to the Hutt, Sela is approached by at catfolk.]
Catfolk: (suggestively) "Hello."
Sela: (dismissive) "Hello."
Catfolk: (even more suggestively) "No, I mean... hellooo."
Sela: (dismissive) "Hello."
Catfolk: (trying one more time) "I mean... hellloooo."
Sela: (dismissive) "Hello."
Catfolk: *walks away in disgust*
Julie: "Wow, Sela's so racist."
[Meanwhile, Jass is approached by his own random encounter NPC: the Silver King, the first mate of the Arcadia, most famous pirate ship in the entire world.]
Jass: "I've heard so much about you."
Silver King: "I've heard so much about you."
Jass: "I hope it was all... everything you wanted to hear."
Silver King: "Wow, hero worship much?"
Jass: "Just a little."
[The Silver King leaves. Esmeralda comes to see Jass' mental state.]
Jass: (muttering to himself) "I won't let it go to my head."
Esmeralda: "Don't let it go to your head."
Jass: "Let what go to my head?"
Esmeralda: "Exactly."
Jass: "Exactly."
[Jass is called up by the Hutt. He does not cast Comprehend Languages. On the other hand, he does speak Hutt.]
Kyn the GM: "If you have Hutt as a language, why have you been avoiding them?!"
Tony: "Because I don't want to see them!"
[Jonas the Hutt is the local underground leader. He opens the interview.]
Jonas the Hutt: "What can the great Jonas do to you... for you?"
[Jass asks Jonas the Hutt for maps to the Athos depot.]
Jonas the Hutt: "Jonas has good deal for you!"
Jass: "On maps?"
Jonas the Hutt: "On fuel!"
Jass: "But I want maps."
Jonas the Hutt: (disappointed) "Oh..."
[Jonas the Hutt tries to figure out why Jass wants maps to the depot.]
Jonas the Hutt: "You are not thinking of attacking the depot, are you?"
Jass: "...Not exactly."
[Negotiations for the maps begin.]
Jonas the Hutt: "Jonas can give this to you for twenty thousand."
Esmeralda: (to Jass) "If you give him more than six, you're gonna be sleeping alone for a long time."
[Negotiations continue.]
Jass: "Nine thousand."
Jonas the Hutt: "Make it ten thousand, and you get the slave girl and the outfit."
Tony: "I neglect to mention that."
[The deal is done for eight thousand. Sela and Esmeralda leave the Hutt's palace. Jass stays behind.]
Esmeralda: "If you come back with another woman, Sela's bird is getting fed."
Tony: "The key statement there is 'come back with.'"
[Meanwhile, Garrett, DAX, and Illyria are exploring the seedy village of Anjhi.]
Kyn the GM: (to Pat) "You get your fight."
Pat: *smiles*
Kyn the GM: "It's not that hard to pick a fight in this town."
[Jass comes back with the slave girl's costume in a bag.]
Esmeralda: "You can't fit a woman in that bag."
Sela: "No. It's too floppy."
Marc: "You can't fit a woman in that clothing."
[We discuss some important questions.]
DAX: "What are we doing with Artemis? Why is he still in my room?"
Sela: (pointedly) "Yes, why is that?"
[More of the same.]
DAX: "Because I'm about to start doing things to him. [beat] That came out wrong."
[DAX mentions that Artemis talks to him. Illyria decides to go check this out for herself.]
DAX: "Wait, I have to prepare him. He's never met a dark elf before. He might die of a heart attack. Ha! That gets me every time! Because he's already dead!"
[It turns out that DAX wasn't just imagining Artemis' corpse talking to him. He is, in fact, undead, something that is virtually unheard of in this universe for thousands of years. Garrett goes to check it out.]
Artemis: *cranes neck*
Kyn the GM: "You've never seen it move by itself."
DAX: (happily) "Oh, it moves!"
[Garrett realizes that Artemis' soul is trapped in his body. DAX is worried.]
Garrett: (to DAX) "Your room cannot trap a soul, much as that might surprise some of us."
[Garrett starts preparing a circle of protection around Artemis' body where it is, in the broom closet DAX uses as his quarters.]
Jass: "He's a warforged -- he can stand anywhere."
DAX: "So I'm just a piece of meat now?!"
Jass: "Actually you're a piece of metal."
[In deference to DAX's need for space, Garrett sets up the circle of protection in the hold.]
Esmeralda: (to DAX) "Under no circumstances are you allowed to enter the hold."
DAX: "Am I being punished?"
Jass: "No, it's just preventative."
[We discuss our plan to steal fuel from the Athos. DAX is being his usual self. Esmeralda eventually reaches the end of her patience.]
Esmeralda: *draws wand*
DAX: "Is that a wand of--"
Esmeralda: "Do you want to find out?"
DAX: *shakes head*
[Thinking over our plan of raiding the Athos depot for their fuel.]
DAX: "You don't like this?"
Sela: "...We're running low on good plans."
Esmeralda: "It's a horrible plan, but it's the only one we've got."
[Unbeknownst to any of us, the Athos guild are actually githyanki.]
Julie: "Yay, we get to deal with psionics and we don't know what that is!"
[We prepare to approach the Athos depot.]
Kyn the GM: "You're about to do something no one's ever done."
Tony: "I don't so much make my own stories as carve them out of misery and suffering."
[We approach the station under an illusion that we are a different ship. Jass gives a fake name and ship designation.]
Tony: *rolls 32 on bluff*
Kyn the GM: "You are flawless."
Pat: "I believe him. I think I'm on the wrong ship."
Tony: "I pull out the chain of every deity's holy symbol and kiss them all."
[We dock. The illusion flickers and goes out. The golems that were coming to refuel us suddenly have a change of heart.]
Kyn the GM: "The golems stop a moment, then start running."
Sela: "That's our cue!"
[Combat ensues with the golems.]
Pat: *rolls 18 on attack*
Kyn the GM: "Hit. They're not meant to--"
Julie: "Slow us down?"
[Next is Sela's turn.]
Kyn the GM: "Sela flips Therrion, his wings barely pass over DAX's head, and one of the golems in the back disappears."
Sela: "Oh, I missed this!"
[Meanwhile, Jass has run forward to grab the fuel conduit. He is now standing on a fairly wide walkway around the depot.]
Tony: "Are there guardrails?"
Kyn: "Pfft! No."
Julie: "If you can't walk around without falling off, you don't deserve to serve at an Athos depot."
[Garrett has instead made his way to the door to the depot, as the only way to turn on the fuel conduit is from inside the control room.]
Kyn the GM: "You reach the door."
Marc: "Do I see any way to open it?"
Kyn the GM: "Nothing apparent."
Pat: "Did you think it would be that easy?"
Kyn the GM: (looking at Tony) "Someone has a ring of knock."
[Combat continues with the golems.]
Golem: *punches DAX*
Julie: "This is why you have a golembane weapon. Use it well."
[Golems aren't the only thing we need to deal with. There are also the Athos' sentry ships, the stars.]
Julie: "Therrion's got good manoeuvrability now! He can hover! Sadly, I think the stars still have better manoeuvrability than us."
Kyn the GM: "They do."
[The stars arrive, as they inevitably must.]
Therrion: *dodges beam attacks from three stars*
Sela: "All right, we have a new target!"
[Reflecting on Sela and Therrion's excellent combat manoeuvring.]
Kyn the GM: (to Tony) "You're watching Sela -- she's amazing!"
Tony: "I have absolute respect for her skills. I've been trying to sleep with her for forever!"
[Sela continues fighting the stars.]
Therrion: *dodges beam attacks from the stars*
Julie: "I'm a distraction!"
Marc: "With a soul-eating spear."
[More of the same.]
Julie: "These guys are tougher. They take two hits!"
Kyn the GM: "You're such a bitch."
[Below, the fight still continues with the golems.]
Julie: "How many golems are left?"
Kyn the GM: "Four... five..."
Pat the GM: *rolls a critical hit*
Kyn the GM: "Four."
[DAX is still fighting the golems.]
Golems: *approach DAX*
Dax: "Hello, boys!"
Golem: *runs towards DAX, past him, and off the edge of the walkway*
DAX: (to other golems) "Wanna follow him?"
Kyn the GM: "That's the saddest thing I ever saw. He rolled two 1s."
[Garrett and Jass have gotten the main door open, thanks to Jass' ring of knock, and entered.]
Kyn the GM: "How deep do you go before you wait for everybody?"
Marc: "We're waiting for everybody?"
Tony: "The plan was to get up to the bridge, right?"
Pat: "I thought the plan was to smash everything."
Tony: "So... not waiting for DAX."
[To get everyone into the depot at around the same time, Kyn has the NPCs pull a few tricks out of their sleeves.]
Esmeralda: "I learned this from Artemis." *earth-binds the last Athos star*
[We enter the Athos depot. Which is not a dungeon, but it might as well be.]
Tony: "The gamer part of me is like, 'I need to go into every room!'"
[We set our marching order.]
Pat: "Jass isn't in front. If he's in front, he'll get killed."
Tony: *nods vigorously*
[We find a line of Athos guild members -- githyanki -- lined up against us. DAX and Sela rush in to engage.]
Marc: "I have fireballs, but my initiative is 1."
Julie: "Social actions are free."
Marc: "Fuck!"
Tony: "That's your social action."
[Garrett calls for Sela and DAX to move back. The githyanki, not being fools, decide to retreat as well and go around a corner. It'll take Garrett at least two rounds to get in position, and the Athos members all have crossbows. Also ears to hear their enemies' plans.]
DAX: "I'll take the ht, then you cast."
Athos Guild Members: *retreat*
DAX: "There you go!"
Garrett: "That doesn't help me."
DAX: "They'll still get a fireball."
Everyone: *sighs*
[The Athos guild members have retreated to the next level up. We're fairly certain that there's a large room at the top of the stairs where they are waiting for us.]
Jass: "What do you think of me going in, drawing their fire, and then you rush in and kill them?"
Garrett: "I don't like this."
Jass: "Neither do I. Bye!" *rushes in*
[Jass rushes into the room of waiting Athos guild members with crossbows.]
Kyn the GM: "Roll bluff."
Tony: *rolls 30 on bluff*
Kyn the GM: "Oh, good! I was checking to see how many you could incite into attacking you. Congratulations! You incited all ten!"
[Garrett casts a ring of fire on the unsuspecting guild members. And even though they have a lesser beholder with them, it is unable to dispell the fire. The guild membrs retreat again. We take a better look at where we are.]
Marc: "This looks like one of the pumps we need, so sabotaging it would probably not be advisable."
Julie: "Bad plan! Bad plan!"
[The Athos guild members have retreated a few corridors back.]
Athos Lieutenant: "I know you're there. Step forward and challenge me honourably."
DAX: *prepares to rock-paper-scissors with Sela*
[DAX has a short-but-deadly fight with the lieutenant. He gets in the final, killing blow.]
Kyn the GM: "The lieutenant smiles as you hit him."
Pat: "He does?"
Julie: "That can't be good."
[The lieutenant explodes. Thankfully, DAX is still not dead.]
Pat: "God, I'm a tough bastard!"
Julie: "Better you than me."
[Given that all the Athos members have retreated again, we take a moment to explore a side room that happens to be an office. There's a map of all the planes and how they're connected, a bunch of floating crystals, some books... and a desk with drawers.]
Kyn the GM: "The drawer's locked."
DAX: "Captain?"
Jass: "Well, open it. You're way stronger than me."
DAX: *yanks hard on drawer*
Drawer: *explodes*
Kyn the GM: "Well, there was something in there."
Tony: "I'm such a bastard captain."
[Up to the next floor, where we see a floating blue orb in a room. Sela is drawn in.]
Kyn the GM: "You've been affected by a lot of enchantments."
Julie: "Have I ever!"
Kyn the GM: "This isn't affecting you that way."
Pat: "What we don't know is it's a bug zapper."
[Sela, DAX, and Jass all enter the room with the glowing orb. It starts healing their wounds.]
Kyn the GM: "Marc, are you gonna go in?"
Marc: "I feel like I should probably stay out."
Kyn the GM: "The GM would really like you to go in."
[Once we're all in the room, the outer doors close and we're all zapped with blue rays, giving us psionic abilities. One of Sela's is detect psionics. So as we go further into the depot...]
Sela: "There are people up ahead: one powerful one and five lesser ones."
DAX: "How do you know that?"
Sela: "I have no idea."
[Realizing that we have not fallen for their trap, the Athos guild members drop their invisibility and attack. Pat rolls quite well.]
Kyn the GM: "I curse your dice!"
Pat: *rolls an 18*
Marc: "Could you curse my dice?"
[Garrett has used his newfound psionic power of brain lock to prevent another Athos lieutenant from using his powers.]
Kyn the GM: "The rest of them are trying to kill Garrett to free the lieutenant."
Tony: "Oh good. I'll kill the lieutenant."
[We finally make it to the bridge, where there are many crystal operating panels. Due to our newfound psionics, we are able to feel their power.]
Pat: "Before, they were just crystal. Now we know they have something to do with something."
Julie: "Exactly."
Marc: "Whoa..."
[Now that we're on the bridge, we can see what's happening outside the depot: an Athos battleship and many dozen stars are floating right outside. Also something else.]
Kyn the GM: "You can see what the Athos battleship is attacking: the Arcadia."
Julie: "We're a distraction!"
[On the bridge are six elite Athos soldiers and a captain.]
Jass: "You want me, come and get me."
Athos Captain: *salutes*
Tony: "My arrogance is gonna be the death of me one day."
[Garrett summons Crawly, the monstrous giant centipede, now a gargantuan size creature. Gargantuan creatures are 32-64 feet long and weigh 16-125 tons.]
Julie: "So Crawly's in front of me?"
Kyn the GM: "You could run under him."
Julie: "Are you kidding? He weighs at least 16 tons! I saw what happened to DAX!"
[Meanwhile, the captain is trying to get to his one-on-one duel with Jass.]
Kyn the GM: "He can't afford to ignore Crawly... but he can't afford to turn away from Jass..."
[The Athos captain uses a power to make Crawly and DAX think that they're dead. It only takes a small amount of damage to wake them up, mind you. Garrett has a plan.]
Marc: "Okay, I can wake Crawly up -- only minimal damage, might crack a scale or two: shatter."
Kyn the GM: "Might I remind you that you're in a room full of crystal?"
Marc: "New plan!"
[We find out information about the Athos captain.]
Kyn the GM: "He's a psionic monk."
Tnoy: "He's gonna hit me in the chakra."
[The fight continues for quite some time. The captain has been hitting just about everyone, not just his one-on-one target. So we decide to retaliate.]
Kyn the GM: "You see Crawly holding the Athos captain."
Tony: "Can I take a pot-shot?"
Kyn the GM: "You can. Jass is only a gentleman for so long."
[We realize that Sela's lance is more effective on a charge when she's mounted, rather than just running. DAX has an idea.]
DAX: "Mount me."
Sela: "...That's the weirdest thing ever, but I actually see where this is going."
[Before we get to put the 'Sela uses DAX as a mount' plan into action, the captain uses his powers to knock her out.]
Julie: "It was a good plan. You're no Therrion, but you're okay."
[The Athos captain flees. DAX rushes up behind, cuts in front, and beheads him in one mighty swoop. Jass goes to the window and beholds, looking back at him, Captain Herlock, captain of the Arcadia.]
Jass: *holds up the head of the Athos captain*
Captain Herlock: *salutes*
DAX: "You know I killed him, right?!"
And that's it for this time! Our Heroes (tm) have narrowly escaped the explosion resulting from the Arcadia blowing up the Athos depot. They may never recover from realizing that the fuel that powers every ship in the universe is siphoned from the essence of powerful angels. But next time we go straight into the jaws of our enemies to try to get them to give us their most powerful ship, so we probably won't have time to think about the horrible implications of our actions anyway. Yay!
[As we finish last session, Garrett rejoins the group having bid a fond farewell to his friend Merrayn. Perhaps too fond.]
Kyn the GM: "If you've ever seen a dwarf strut, it's like a barrelling, tick-tocking motion."
[Pat had to leave early last session, so he didn't quite find out what happened to DAX in the final fight. Kyn the GM fills him in.]
Kyn the GM: (to Pat) "You have seen things no one should see. You now add one more: a four-way between a dragon and three giant monstrous centipedes, happening right on top of you."
Pat: "I thought I was placed strategically. It was the wrong strategy."
[And, lest anyone should forget, we have our new passenger: the drow priestess Illyria.]
Illyria: (looking up at the sky) "Wow, it's so bright!"
Kyn the GM: "And then eclipse ends."
Illyria: "Oh, Gods, my eyes!"
[Jass brings a shawl for Illyria so she doesn't burn in the sun.]
Tony: "The less skin showing..."
Kyn the GM: "Who are you, and what have you done with Jass?"
[We reflect on the fact that Jass now has two beautiful women on board, both of whom think they're entitled to him.]
Julie: "How many women troubles do you need?"
Tony: "It's an endless cycle. It's like a zen question."
[Naturally, Illyria and Esmeralda come to passive-aggressive barbs.]
Kyn the GM: "Illyria is wiser, so her jabs sting more. But Esmeralda is more charismatic, so hers have the power of perfect delivery."
[Other consequences to the women fighting.]
Kyn the GM: "Jass' bed is empty."
Tony: "Hey, I didn't go into this knowing the consequences! I opened my mouth, things came out, and now I'm paying the consequences. Like always."
[Recall that in Jass' room are the beautiful moonstone-studded sheets worth thousands of silver pieces.]
Kyn the GM: "They are literally what kings sleep on."
Pat: "But they don't sleep alone, usually."
[Jass considers being a gentleman.]
Jass: "I would offer the drow my room."
Esmeralda: (unimpressed) "Uh-huh."
Jass: "For the first two nights."
Sela: "You'd leave her alone with those gorgeous sheets?"
Jass: (meekly) "Yes."
[More of the same.]
Kyn the GM: "Captain?"
Tony: "Who says that?"
Kyn the GM: "Who else says 'captain' with such disdain right now?"
[Esmeralda calls a meeting of the ship's crew and passengers. Sadly for her, that means all of them.]
Esmeralda: (to DAX over their far-speaking rings) "Don't forget the black-skinned harlot."
DAX: (out loud) "Oh. I almost forgot her."
Garrett: "What?"
DAX: "Just the voices in my head."
[Esmeralda and Sela lay out their plan for the next leg of their journey: go to Galandreth, enemy of Falan, to convince one of their dukes to lend their extremely expensive Epsilon-class ship to the crew so we can recover the Bright Dawn and help Esmeralda reclaim her kingdom.]
Jass: "Essie, dear, what's the probability of success? No, wait--"
Sela: "I thought you never wanted to know the odds."
Jass: "That's why I stopped."
[More on Esmeralda and Sela's plan.]
Esmeralda: "If we somehow manage -- I can't believe I'm saying this -- if we manage to pull off a coup, then we're good."
[The rest of the crew respond to the plan.]
Jass: "I like this plan! I'm in all the way!"
Esmeralda: "Are you just saying that because you want to get me in bed?"
Jass: "..."
[If we're going to Galandreth, we need to make a few preparations.]
Sela: "All right, Therrion, you and I need to work on flying in a way that doesn't look like we were trained by Falan."
[Esmeralda sends Garrett to check out the engine room, where Bast previously lived and worked.]
Kyn the GM: "The first thing you realize is Bast was a slob."
Garrett: *sniffs* "And they say I smell."
[Garrett finds Bast's diary and, being a priest of secrets, reads it.]
Kyn the GM: "Bast is exactly as he's always been."
Pat: (as Bast, writing in his diary) "Roses are red / Violets are blue / Boo-hoo-hoo / I'm always the third shoe."
[Garrett checks out the various engine functions.]
Garrett: *taps a gauge*
Kyn the GM: "Well, that can't be good."
Marc: "That's the fuel gauge, isn't it?"
Kyn the GM: "Yup."
[Garrett reports back. Or at least attempts to.]
Garrett: "We have a problem."
Jass: "Don't tell me problems, tell me solutions."
Garrett: "All right..."
Kyn the GM: "Nope, still a problem."
[Garrett finally gets to the heart of the matter.]
Garrett: "We're out of fuel."
Jass: "...Out-out?"
[Jass informs the rest of the crew.]
Jass: "We're almost out of fuel."
Esmeralda: "Oh. This is where I'd usually find Bast and yell at him. [beat] DAX!"
[Esmeralda yells at DAX for a while for not knowing we were low of fuel.]
DAX: "So, I'm allowed in the engine room? Because Bast wouldn't let me in there after what I did last time."
Esmeralda: "No, you're still not allowed in the engine room."
DAX: "So how am I supposed to--"
Esmeralda: "Oh, I see how this is. You know, an artisan doesn't blame his tools, DAX."
DAX: "..."
[Normally, a ship would be refuelled by the Athos guild. Sadly, the Athos guild wants to kill us.]
DAX: (to Esmeralda) "So, what other plans do we have?"
Esmeralda: "...Captain, what other plans do we have?"
[We contemplate plans.]
Jass: "The fourth option is the only third option because there is no third option. It was a terrible option."
[We bring the conversation back around for a moment.]
Esmeralda: "Sela did have a good question: why is the Athos attacking us?"
Sela: "I do have good questions sometimes."
Jass: "And I have good answers sometimes."
Sela: "Do you have one now?"
Jass: "No."
[We can't go to the Athos without them trying to kill us. But there may be another option. It's less legal.]
Kyn the GM: "You arrive at Anjhi. It's an outpost to keep an eye on Falan. So it has three kinds of people: military, prostitutes..."
Tony: "And my kind of people."
[Our plan is to talk to the Hutts, the criminal overlords of this universe.]
Jass: "It's our best terrible plan. As are a lot of our terrible plans."
[Jass and Esmeralda are going to speak with the local Hutt and taking Sela along as a bodyguard.]
Sela: "At what point do I start killing people?"
Esmeralda: "When they try to kill us. That's usually the best time."
[Certain crew members are not going to speak to the Hutts.]
Kyn the GM: "You really want to avoid taking people with a tendency to open their mouths and say rude things." *looks pointedly at Garrett*
[Kyn the GM explains what it's like to visit the Hutts.]
Kyn the GM: "As long as you're beneath the Hutt's roof, it's neutral territory. Because he'll eat you."
[We arrive and mingle with the crowd while waiting for the Hutt to call on us.]
Esmeralda: "Sela, can you not look like a soldier?"
Sela: "Sure."
Julie: "...She can't."
[While waiting to talk to the Hutt, Sela is approached by at catfolk.]
Catfolk: (suggestively) "Hello."
Sela: (dismissive) "Hello."
Catfolk: (even more suggestively) "No, I mean... hellooo."
Sela: (dismissive) "Hello."
Catfolk: (trying one more time) "I mean... hellloooo."
Sela: (dismissive) "Hello."
Catfolk: *walks away in disgust*
Julie: "Wow, Sela's so racist."
[Meanwhile, Jass is approached by his own random encounter NPC: the Silver King, the first mate of the Arcadia, most famous pirate ship in the entire world.]
Jass: "I've heard so much about you."
Silver King: "I've heard so much about you."
Jass: "I hope it was all... everything you wanted to hear."
Silver King: "Wow, hero worship much?"
Jass: "Just a little."
[The Silver King leaves. Esmeralda comes to see Jass' mental state.]
Jass: (muttering to himself) "I won't let it go to my head."
Esmeralda: "Don't let it go to your head."
Jass: "Let what go to my head?"
Esmeralda: "Exactly."
Jass: "Exactly."
[Jass is called up by the Hutt. He does not cast Comprehend Languages. On the other hand, he does speak Hutt.]
Kyn the GM: "If you have Hutt as a language, why have you been avoiding them?!"
Tony: "Because I don't want to see them!"
[Jonas the Hutt is the local underground leader. He opens the interview.]
Jonas the Hutt: "What can the great Jonas do to you... for you?"
[Jass asks Jonas the Hutt for maps to the Athos depot.]
Jonas the Hutt: "Jonas has good deal for you!"
Jass: "On maps?"
Jonas the Hutt: "On fuel!"
Jass: "But I want maps."
Jonas the Hutt: (disappointed) "Oh..."
[Jonas the Hutt tries to figure out why Jass wants maps to the depot.]
Jonas the Hutt: "You are not thinking of attacking the depot, are you?"
Jass: "...Not exactly."
[Negotiations for the maps begin.]
Jonas the Hutt: "Jonas can give this to you for twenty thousand."
Esmeralda: (to Jass) "If you give him more than six, you're gonna be sleeping alone for a long time."
[Negotiations continue.]
Jass: "Nine thousand."
Jonas the Hutt: "Make it ten thousand, and you get the slave girl and the outfit."
Tony: "I neglect to mention that."
[The deal is done for eight thousand. Sela and Esmeralda leave the Hutt's palace. Jass stays behind.]
Esmeralda: "If you come back with another woman, Sela's bird is getting fed."
Tony: "The key statement there is 'come back with.'"
[Meanwhile, Garrett, DAX, and Illyria are exploring the seedy village of Anjhi.]
Kyn the GM: (to Pat) "You get your fight."
Pat: *smiles*
Kyn the GM: "It's not that hard to pick a fight in this town."
[Jass comes back with the slave girl's costume in a bag.]
Esmeralda: "You can't fit a woman in that bag."
Sela: "No. It's too floppy."
Marc: "You can't fit a woman in that clothing."
[We discuss some important questions.]
DAX: "What are we doing with Artemis? Why is he still in my room?"
Sela: (pointedly) "Yes, why is that?"
[More of the same.]
DAX: "Because I'm about to start doing things to him. [beat] That came out wrong."
[DAX mentions that Artemis talks to him. Illyria decides to go check this out for herself.]
DAX: "Wait, I have to prepare him. He's never met a dark elf before. He might die of a heart attack. Ha! That gets me every time! Because he's already dead!"
[It turns out that DAX wasn't just imagining Artemis' corpse talking to him. He is, in fact, undead, something that is virtually unheard of in this universe for thousands of years. Garrett goes to check it out.]
Artemis: *cranes neck*
Kyn the GM: "You've never seen it move by itself."
DAX: (happily) "Oh, it moves!"
[Garrett realizes that Artemis' soul is trapped in his body. DAX is worried.]
Garrett: (to DAX) "Your room cannot trap a soul, much as that might surprise some of us."
[Garrett starts preparing a circle of protection around Artemis' body where it is, in the broom closet DAX uses as his quarters.]
Jass: "He's a warforged -- he can stand anywhere."
DAX: "So I'm just a piece of meat now?!"
Jass: "Actually you're a piece of metal."
[In deference to DAX's need for space, Garrett sets up the circle of protection in the hold.]
Esmeralda: (to DAX) "Under no circumstances are you allowed to enter the hold."
DAX: "Am I being punished?"
Jass: "No, it's just preventative."
[We discuss our plan to steal fuel from the Athos. DAX is being his usual self. Esmeralda eventually reaches the end of her patience.]
Esmeralda: *draws wand*
DAX: "Is that a wand of--"
Esmeralda: "Do you want to find out?"
DAX: *shakes head*
[Thinking over our plan of raiding the Athos depot for their fuel.]
DAX: "You don't like this?"
Sela: "...We're running low on good plans."
Esmeralda: "It's a horrible plan, but it's the only one we've got."
[Unbeknownst to any of us, the Athos guild are actually githyanki.]
Julie: "Yay, we get to deal with psionics and we don't know what that is!"
[We prepare to approach the Athos depot.]
Kyn the GM: "You're about to do something no one's ever done."
Tony: "I don't so much make my own stories as carve them out of misery and suffering."
[We approach the station under an illusion that we are a different ship. Jass gives a fake name and ship designation.]
Tony: *rolls 32 on bluff*
Kyn the GM: "You are flawless."
Pat: "I believe him. I think I'm on the wrong ship."
Tony: "I pull out the chain of every deity's holy symbol and kiss them all."
[We dock. The illusion flickers and goes out. The golems that were coming to refuel us suddenly have a change of heart.]
Kyn the GM: "The golems stop a moment, then start running."
Sela: "That's our cue!"
[Combat ensues with the golems.]
Pat: *rolls 18 on attack*
Kyn the GM: "Hit. They're not meant to--"
Julie: "Slow us down?"
[Next is Sela's turn.]
Kyn the GM: "Sela flips Therrion, his wings barely pass over DAX's head, and one of the golems in the back disappears."
Sela: "Oh, I missed this!"
[Meanwhile, Jass has run forward to grab the fuel conduit. He is now standing on a fairly wide walkway around the depot.]
Tony: "Are there guardrails?"
Kyn: "Pfft! No."
Julie: "If you can't walk around without falling off, you don't deserve to serve at an Athos depot."
[Garrett has instead made his way to the door to the depot, as the only way to turn on the fuel conduit is from inside the control room.]
Kyn the GM: "You reach the door."
Marc: "Do I see any way to open it?"
Kyn the GM: "Nothing apparent."
Pat: "Did you think it would be that easy?"
Kyn the GM: (looking at Tony) "Someone has a ring of knock."
[Combat continues with the golems.]
Golem: *punches DAX*
Julie: "This is why you have a golembane weapon. Use it well."
[Golems aren't the only thing we need to deal with. There are also the Athos' sentry ships, the stars.]
Julie: "Therrion's got good manoeuvrability now! He can hover! Sadly, I think the stars still have better manoeuvrability than us."
Kyn the GM: "They do."
[The stars arrive, as they inevitably must.]
Therrion: *dodges beam attacks from three stars*
Sela: "All right, we have a new target!"
[Reflecting on Sela and Therrion's excellent combat manoeuvring.]
Kyn the GM: (to Tony) "You're watching Sela -- she's amazing!"
Tony: "I have absolute respect for her skills. I've been trying to sleep with her for forever!"
[Sela continues fighting the stars.]
Therrion: *dodges beam attacks from the stars*
Julie: "I'm a distraction!"
Marc: "With a soul-eating spear."
[More of the same.]
Julie: "These guys are tougher. They take two hits!"
Kyn the GM: "You're such a bitch."
[Below, the fight still continues with the golems.]
Julie: "How many golems are left?"
Kyn the GM: "Four... five..."
Pat the GM: *rolls a critical hit*
Kyn the GM: "Four."
[DAX is still fighting the golems.]
Golems: *approach DAX*
Dax: "Hello, boys!"
Golem: *runs towards DAX, past him, and off the edge of the walkway*
DAX: (to other golems) "Wanna follow him?"
Kyn the GM: "That's the saddest thing I ever saw. He rolled two 1s."
[Garrett and Jass have gotten the main door open, thanks to Jass' ring of knock, and entered.]
Kyn the GM: "How deep do you go before you wait for everybody?"
Marc: "We're waiting for everybody?"
Tony: "The plan was to get up to the bridge, right?"
Pat: "I thought the plan was to smash everything."
Tony: "So... not waiting for DAX."
[To get everyone into the depot at around the same time, Kyn has the NPCs pull a few tricks out of their sleeves.]
Esmeralda: "I learned this from Artemis." *earth-binds the last Athos star*
[We enter the Athos depot. Which is not a dungeon, but it might as well be.]
Tony: "The gamer part of me is like, 'I need to go into every room!'"
[We set our marching order.]
Pat: "Jass isn't in front. If he's in front, he'll get killed."
Tony: *nods vigorously*
[We find a line of Athos guild members -- githyanki -- lined up against us. DAX and Sela rush in to engage.]
Marc: "I have fireballs, but my initiative is 1."
Julie: "Social actions are free."
Marc: "Fuck!"
Tony: "That's your social action."
[Garrett calls for Sela and DAX to move back. The githyanki, not being fools, decide to retreat as well and go around a corner. It'll take Garrett at least two rounds to get in position, and the Athos members all have crossbows. Also ears to hear their enemies' plans.]
DAX: "I'll take the ht, then you cast."
Athos Guild Members: *retreat*
DAX: "There you go!"
Garrett: "That doesn't help me."
DAX: "They'll still get a fireball."
Everyone: *sighs*
[The Athos guild members have retreated to the next level up. We're fairly certain that there's a large room at the top of the stairs where they are waiting for us.]
Jass: "What do you think of me going in, drawing their fire, and then you rush in and kill them?"
Garrett: "I don't like this."
Jass: "Neither do I. Bye!" *rushes in*
[Jass rushes into the room of waiting Athos guild members with crossbows.]
Kyn the GM: "Roll bluff."
Tony: *rolls 30 on bluff*
Kyn the GM: "Oh, good! I was checking to see how many you could incite into attacking you. Congratulations! You incited all ten!"
[Garrett casts a ring of fire on the unsuspecting guild members. And even though they have a lesser beholder with them, it is unable to dispell the fire. The guild membrs retreat again. We take a better look at where we are.]
Marc: "This looks like one of the pumps we need, so sabotaging it would probably not be advisable."
Julie: "Bad plan! Bad plan!"
[The Athos guild members have retreated a few corridors back.]
Athos Lieutenant: "I know you're there. Step forward and challenge me honourably."
DAX: *prepares to rock-paper-scissors with Sela*
[DAX has a short-but-deadly fight with the lieutenant. He gets in the final, killing blow.]
Kyn the GM: "The lieutenant smiles as you hit him."
Pat: "He does?"
Julie: "That can't be good."
[The lieutenant explodes. Thankfully, DAX is still not dead.]
Pat: "God, I'm a tough bastard!"
Julie: "Better you than me."
[Given that all the Athos members have retreated again, we take a moment to explore a side room that happens to be an office. There's a map of all the planes and how they're connected, a bunch of floating crystals, some books... and a desk with drawers.]
Kyn the GM: "The drawer's locked."
DAX: "Captain?"
Jass: "Well, open it. You're way stronger than me."
DAX: *yanks hard on drawer*
Drawer: *explodes*
Kyn the GM: "Well, there was something in there."
Tony: "I'm such a bastard captain."
[Up to the next floor, where we see a floating blue orb in a room. Sela is drawn in.]
Kyn the GM: "You've been affected by a lot of enchantments."
Julie: "Have I ever!"
Kyn the GM: "This isn't affecting you that way."
Pat: "What we don't know is it's a bug zapper."
[Sela, DAX, and Jass all enter the room with the glowing orb. It starts healing their wounds.]
Kyn the GM: "Marc, are you gonna go in?"
Marc: "I feel like I should probably stay out."
Kyn the GM: "The GM would really like you to go in."
[Once we're all in the room, the outer doors close and we're all zapped with blue rays, giving us psionic abilities. One of Sela's is detect psionics. So as we go further into the depot...]
Sela: "There are people up ahead: one powerful one and five lesser ones."
DAX: "How do you know that?"
Sela: "I have no idea."
[Realizing that we have not fallen for their trap, the Athos guild members drop their invisibility and attack. Pat rolls quite well.]
Kyn the GM: "I curse your dice!"
Pat: *rolls an 18*
Marc: "Could you curse my dice?"
[Garrett has used his newfound psionic power of brain lock to prevent another Athos lieutenant from using his powers.]
Kyn the GM: "The rest of them are trying to kill Garrett to free the lieutenant."
Tony: "Oh good. I'll kill the lieutenant."
[We finally make it to the bridge, where there are many crystal operating panels. Due to our newfound psionics, we are able to feel their power.]
Pat: "Before, they were just crystal. Now we know they have something to do with something."
Julie: "Exactly."
Marc: "Whoa..."
[Now that we're on the bridge, we can see what's happening outside the depot: an Athos battleship and many dozen stars are floating right outside. Also something else.]
Kyn the GM: "You can see what the Athos battleship is attacking: the Arcadia."
Julie: "We're a distraction!"
[On the bridge are six elite Athos soldiers and a captain.]
Jass: "You want me, come and get me."
Athos Captain: *salutes*
Tony: "My arrogance is gonna be the death of me one day."
[Garrett summons Crawly, the monstrous giant centipede, now a gargantuan size creature. Gargantuan creatures are 32-64 feet long and weigh 16-125 tons.]
Julie: "So Crawly's in front of me?"
Kyn the GM: "You could run under him."
Julie: "Are you kidding? He weighs at least 16 tons! I saw what happened to DAX!"
[Meanwhile, the captain is trying to get to his one-on-one duel with Jass.]
Kyn the GM: "He can't afford to ignore Crawly... but he can't afford to turn away from Jass..."
[The Athos captain uses a power to make Crawly and DAX think that they're dead. It only takes a small amount of damage to wake them up, mind you. Garrett has a plan.]
Marc: "Okay, I can wake Crawly up -- only minimal damage, might crack a scale or two: shatter."
Kyn the GM: "Might I remind you that you're in a room full of crystal?"
Marc: "New plan!"
[We find out information about the Athos captain.]
Kyn the GM: "He's a psionic monk."
Tnoy: "He's gonna hit me in the chakra."
[The fight continues for quite some time. The captain has been hitting just about everyone, not just his one-on-one target. So we decide to retaliate.]
Kyn the GM: "You see Crawly holding the Athos captain."
Tony: "Can I take a pot-shot?"
Kyn the GM: "You can. Jass is only a gentleman for so long."
[We realize that Sela's lance is more effective on a charge when she's mounted, rather than just running. DAX has an idea.]
DAX: "Mount me."
Sela: "...That's the weirdest thing ever, but I actually see where this is going."
[Before we get to put the 'Sela uses DAX as a mount' plan into action, the captain uses his powers to knock her out.]
Julie: "It was a good plan. You're no Therrion, but you're okay."
[The Athos captain flees. DAX rushes up behind, cuts in front, and beheads him in one mighty swoop. Jass goes to the window and beholds, looking back at him, Captain Herlock, captain of the Arcadia.]
Jass: *holds up the head of the Athos captain*
Captain Herlock: *salutes*
DAX: "You know I killed him, right?!"
And that's it for this time! Our Heroes (tm) have narrowly escaped the explosion resulting from the Arcadia blowing up the Athos depot. They may never recover from realizing that the fuel that powers every ship in the universe is siphoned from the essence of powerful angels. But next time we go straight into the jaws of our enemies to try to get them to give us their most powerful ship, so we probably won't have time to think about the horrible implications of our actions anyway. Yay!
