The Devil Made Me Do It
Aug. 28th, 2012 05:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eveglassFamily reunion time! Gorka'munda at long last meets his necromancer brother and his long-lost sister... Shame that neither of them are the Devil of Lust, though.
[Using a hide from undead spell makes our 60-orc waugh somewhat unnecessary.]
Julie: "They're slowing down the things that can't see us anyway."
[Gorka'munda has had enough of running away from the things that can't see us.]
Andrew: "I get that look in my eye that says, 'I understand the tactical situation, but...'"
Julie: "I tried so hard."
[Reflecting on the fact that Gorka'munda is about to launch himself at a couple dozen undead.]
Shawn: "I call dibs on his mount. [beat] No, I'm kidding. I can't ride."
[Gorka'munda prepares to charge a couple dozen undead, thus breaking our hide from undead spell.]
Shawn: "I hate you so much. I'm going to throw flammable liquid on you."
[The battle is joined. Agatha does indeed light something on fire with one of her spells. Shawn is still contemplating lighting Gorka'munda on fire as well.]
Shawn: "Remember, mummies and zombies can't catch you if you're on fire."
[Among the undead we're fighting are a couple of mummies, who are attacking Gorka'munda's waugh.]
Robert the GM: "The mummy kills the orc in one hit."
Andrew: "Well, it beats mummy rot."
[The combat is over quite quickly.]
Andrew: "Wow, I busted a rage for two rounds of combat."
Julie: "Technically, one round of combat."
Andrew: "Shut up, Julie."
[Baska takes her responsibility as head gobbo less than seriously.]
Julie: "Are the Snake Vipers still alive?"
Robert the GM: "Ten of them."
Julie: "Okay, their job is the same as before."
Robert the GM: "Walk in front and don't fuck?"
Julie: "Yup."
[Having dealt with the smallish group of undead, we start moving again.]
Julie: "We go forward into imminent danger!"
[After a few hours, we encounter Gorka'munda's brother Kagosh in front of a small hut. Gorka'munda starts getting hostile.]
Kagosh: "You're in my home."
Gorka'munda: "Your home?!"
[Dan tries to prevent the meeting from being a total loss.]
Dan: (in Infernal) "It may be in our best interest not to kill each other."
Robert the GM: "Kagosh looks like he has no idea what you said."
Dan: "Oh, an uneducated man. This is my surprised face."
[Kagosh is not quite as formidable as expected.]
Bardo: "My days of being unimpressed with you are certainly coming to a middle."
[Kagosh invites us to dinner. Gorka'munda just wants to fight.]
Dan: "We can kill him later. Wouldn't you rather have a full stomach first?"
Gorka'munda: "Gorka'munda is full... on revenge!"
[Meinradd reflects on Gorka'munda's brother.]
Meinradd: "You said he was a dick -- he seems pretty nice."
[The niceties can't last. Kagosh flies up with his suddenly-revealed sister Shesh and threatens to drop her into the fire.]
Andrew: "If she survived this long, I assume she has levels."
Adam: "Commoner is levels."
[While the rest of the PCs fight, Dan runs into the hut.]
Robert the GM: "You run into the hut. It is anticlimactically mundane."
[While flying in the air, Meinradd casts a spell that deals 14 dexterity damage to Kagosh, causing him to plummet.]
Robert the GM: "He falls into the fire."
Gorka'munda: "You killed my fun, you know that?"
[Robert the GM reflects on the short fight.]
Robert the GM: "Man, this guy had some impressive spells that never got to see the light of day."
[Kagosh was not the Devil of Lust. Neither was Shesh. While we're trying to figure out the mystery, we hear the sounds of hundreds of goblins just over the next hill.]
Sabina: "Can we see what the goblins are doing?"
Robert the GM: "Yes. Are you sure you want to?"
[While everyone else investigates the goblins, Baska and Meinradd know what's truly important.]
Julie: "What kind of rogue would I be if I didn't search Kagosh's body?"
[In the center of hundreds of fornicating goblins is the Devil of Lust, who appears to be a beautiful man or woman of the chosen race of the onlooker.]
Andrew: "What does Dan see?"
Shawn: "Dan sees an animate bottle of whiskey."
[In fact, Dan sees a beautiful woman.]
Dan: "What's that hot chick doing with all those goblins?"
Meinradd: "Oh, so you like half-orcs, eh?"
And that's it for this week. I'll be missing the game next week while I go to my work's Annual Meeting, and thus will miss the final epic battle with the Devil of Lust. Probably for the best, really. Baska's will save isn't very good, and I have no interest in seeing her fornicate with goblins.
[Using a hide from undead spell makes our 60-orc waugh somewhat unnecessary.]
Julie: "They're slowing down the things that can't see us anyway."
[Gorka'munda has had enough of running away from the things that can't see us.]
Andrew: "I get that look in my eye that says, 'I understand the tactical situation, but...'"
Julie: "I tried so hard."
[Reflecting on the fact that Gorka'munda is about to launch himself at a couple dozen undead.]
Shawn: "I call dibs on his mount. [beat] No, I'm kidding. I can't ride."
[Gorka'munda prepares to charge a couple dozen undead, thus breaking our hide from undead spell.]
Shawn: "I hate you so much. I'm going to throw flammable liquid on you."
[The battle is joined. Agatha does indeed light something on fire with one of her spells. Shawn is still contemplating lighting Gorka'munda on fire as well.]
Shawn: "Remember, mummies and zombies can't catch you if you're on fire."
[Among the undead we're fighting are a couple of mummies, who are attacking Gorka'munda's waugh.]
Robert the GM: "The mummy kills the orc in one hit."
Andrew: "Well, it beats mummy rot."
[The combat is over quite quickly.]
Andrew: "Wow, I busted a rage for two rounds of combat."
Julie: "Technically, one round of combat."
Andrew: "Shut up, Julie."
[Baska takes her responsibility as head gobbo less than seriously.]
Julie: "Are the Snake Vipers still alive?"
Robert the GM: "Ten of them."
Julie: "Okay, their job is the same as before."
Robert the GM: "Walk in front and don't fuck?"
Julie: "Yup."
[Having dealt with the smallish group of undead, we start moving again.]
Julie: "We go forward into imminent danger!"
[After a few hours, we encounter Gorka'munda's brother Kagosh in front of a small hut. Gorka'munda starts getting hostile.]
Kagosh: "You're in my home."
Gorka'munda: "Your home?!"
[Dan tries to prevent the meeting from being a total loss.]
Dan: (in Infernal) "It may be in our best interest not to kill each other."
Robert the GM: "Kagosh looks like he has no idea what you said."
Dan: "Oh, an uneducated man. This is my surprised face."
[Kagosh is not quite as formidable as expected.]
Bardo: "My days of being unimpressed with you are certainly coming to a middle."
[Kagosh invites us to dinner. Gorka'munda just wants to fight.]
Dan: "We can kill him later. Wouldn't you rather have a full stomach first?"
Gorka'munda: "Gorka'munda is full... on revenge!"
[Meinradd reflects on Gorka'munda's brother.]
Meinradd: "You said he was a dick -- he seems pretty nice."
[The niceties can't last. Kagosh flies up with his suddenly-revealed sister Shesh and threatens to drop her into the fire.]
Andrew: "If she survived this long, I assume she has levels."
Adam: "Commoner is levels."
[While the rest of the PCs fight, Dan runs into the hut.]
Robert the GM: "You run into the hut. It is anticlimactically mundane."
[While flying in the air, Meinradd casts a spell that deals 14 dexterity damage to Kagosh, causing him to plummet.]
Robert the GM: "He falls into the fire."
Gorka'munda: "You killed my fun, you know that?"
[Robert the GM reflects on the short fight.]
Robert the GM: "Man, this guy had some impressive spells that never got to see the light of day."
[Kagosh was not the Devil of Lust. Neither was Shesh. While we're trying to figure out the mystery, we hear the sounds of hundreds of goblins just over the next hill.]
Sabina: "Can we see what the goblins are doing?"
Robert the GM: "Yes. Are you sure you want to?"
[While everyone else investigates the goblins, Baska and Meinradd know what's truly important.]
Julie: "What kind of rogue would I be if I didn't search Kagosh's body?"
[In the center of hundreds of fornicating goblins is the Devil of Lust, who appears to be a beautiful man or woman of the chosen race of the onlooker.]
Andrew: "What does Dan see?"
Shawn: "Dan sees an animate bottle of whiskey."
[In fact, Dan sees a beautiful woman.]
Dan: "What's that hot chick doing with all those goblins?"
Meinradd: "Oh, so you like half-orcs, eh?"
And that's it for this week. I'll be missing the game next week while I go to my work's Annual Meeting, and thus will miss the final epic battle with the Devil of Lust. Probably for the best, really. Baska's will save isn't very good, and I have no interest in seeing her fornicate with goblins.
