The voice of doom!
Oct. 14th, 2010 11:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eveglassLast night, Our Heroes (tm) entered into Azure Deathgod's private sanctum only to discover that he had, in fact, been plotting with Gregslorth to take over the multiverse. Also, we discovered a man claiming to be the Witch King, whose prophesied rise to power we have spent the last four years trying to prevent. Why Azlo chose to release him, I'll never know.
Yes, it's a catastrophe of errors, this week in the Voice of Doom!
[ Our companion Polly is an ancient unnameable evil inhabiting a cute marionette. "Conversational" isn't necessarily one of her strong suits.]
Andrew the GM: "She puts two and two together and doesn't tell you a fucking thing."
Adam: "I'm shocked."
[It's sad when this is actually a good thing.]
Eric: "On the upside, I'm willing to bet that's not a god but just a really high-level monk."
[We're trying to bluff our way past the guard of Azure's tower. No one had previously thought to tell Lyanna to remove her Pelorian robes. Neyrr tries to convince the guard that Lyanna and Asera are, in fact, part of an infiltration mission, *posing* as clerics of Pelor.]
Neyrr: "They have very convincing holy auras -- detect good on them."
Guardian: "They *do* have convincing auras!"
[Why you should always have your allies form up in semi-circles and not full circles.]
Eric: "Rule #3: Never have your allies stand in the line of fire."
[We realize we have no one who can disable the traps on the door to Azure's sanctum. Neyrr steps in as the best option we've got.]
Neyrr: "Boy, that's scary -- I'm the party rogue."
[Unfortunately, while the intentions are good, there's not much my character can really do against Polly and the Witch King.]
Julie: "I'm totally readying something ineffectual."
[Things you never want to hear your GM say.]
Andrew the GM: "I've been waiting for this for a long time."
Bob: "Oh, no."
[I didn't even know this was an option!]
Eric: "Knowledge: horrible experiments gone completely wrong. I roll 30."
[In Azure's private sanctum, we've found the crucified form of a man claiming to be the Witch King. He tells us that Azure kept a personal journal in which he described his plan to take over the multiverse.]
Eric: "Would Azure be stupid enough to write it down? ...Yes."
[Ah, the reunion of father and son. So touching.]
Neyrr: "You wiped out entire sentient races."
The Witch King: "You wiped out entire sentient races!"
[The Witch King tries to bargain with Neyrr. He miscalculates.]
Neyrr: "You're right: our survival comes before everything else. Bye!"
[This is only funny because Neyrr has already taken Azure's journal, and in the process suffered level drain, feeblemindedness, and a host of other nasty effects.]
Pelor: "Don't touch that book: it's trapped!"
[Lyanna calls the small council to explain to them what's been happening.]
Toth, high priest of Heironeous: "This will be horrible."
Lyanna: "It will. I'm sorry for this."
[We realize that the only person who can actually decide where we're going is Neyrr, because he's the only one who can control the ziggurat. That doesn't stop the rest of us from discussing it.]
Eric: "You could vote."
Julie: "Would you listen?"
Eric: "If you make a good suggestion."
[Winging it, our favorite kind of plan.]
Pelor: "Do you know how to steer this thing?!?"
Neyrr: "No, but we'll attempt it anyway!"
[Just before we left Azure's personal sanctum, Azlo released the Witch King, thus setting in motion the final prophecy of the apocalypse.]
Bob: "Adam?"
Adam: "Yeah?"
Bob: "What the fuck?!"
And that's it for this week. Next week, the ziggurat takes another trip through the Astral Plane, into the (hopefully) protective hands of Kio, goddess of nature. See you then!
Yes, it's a catastrophe of errors, this week in the Voice of Doom!
[ Our companion Polly is an ancient unnameable evil inhabiting a cute marionette. "Conversational" isn't necessarily one of her strong suits.]
Andrew the GM: "She puts two and two together and doesn't tell you a fucking thing."
Adam: "I'm shocked."
[It's sad when this is actually a good thing.]
Eric: "On the upside, I'm willing to bet that's not a god but just a really high-level monk."
[We're trying to bluff our way past the guard of Azure's tower. No one had previously thought to tell Lyanna to remove her Pelorian robes. Neyrr tries to convince the guard that Lyanna and Asera are, in fact, part of an infiltration mission, *posing* as clerics of Pelor.]
Neyrr: "They have very convincing holy auras -- detect good on them."
Guardian: "They *do* have convincing auras!"
[Why you should always have your allies form up in semi-circles and not full circles.]
Eric: "Rule #3: Never have your allies stand in the line of fire."
[We realize we have no one who can disable the traps on the door to Azure's sanctum. Neyrr steps in as the best option we've got.]
Neyrr: "Boy, that's scary -- I'm the party rogue."
[Unfortunately, while the intentions are good, there's not much my character can really do against Polly and the Witch King.]
Julie: "I'm totally readying something ineffectual."
[Things you never want to hear your GM say.]
Andrew the GM: "I've been waiting for this for a long time."
Bob: "Oh, no."
[I didn't even know this was an option!]
Eric: "Knowledge: horrible experiments gone completely wrong. I roll 30."
[In Azure's private sanctum, we've found the crucified form of a man claiming to be the Witch King. He tells us that Azure kept a personal journal in which he described his plan to take over the multiverse.]
Eric: "Would Azure be stupid enough to write it down? ...Yes."
[Ah, the reunion of father and son. So touching.]
Neyrr: "You wiped out entire sentient races."
The Witch King: "You wiped out entire sentient races!"
[The Witch King tries to bargain with Neyrr. He miscalculates.]
Neyrr: "You're right: our survival comes before everything else. Bye!"
[This is only funny because Neyrr has already taken Azure's journal, and in the process suffered level drain, feeblemindedness, and a host of other nasty effects.]
Pelor: "Don't touch that book: it's trapped!"
[Lyanna calls the small council to explain to them what's been happening.]
Toth, high priest of Heironeous: "This will be horrible."
Lyanna: "It will. I'm sorry for this."
[We realize that the only person who can actually decide where we're going is Neyrr, because he's the only one who can control the ziggurat. That doesn't stop the rest of us from discussing it.]
Eric: "You could vote."
Julie: "Would you listen?"
Eric: "If you make a good suggestion."
[Winging it, our favorite kind of plan.]
Pelor: "Do you know how to steer this thing?!?"
Neyrr: "No, but we'll attempt it anyway!"
[Just before we left Azure's personal sanctum, Azlo released the Witch King, thus setting in motion the final prophecy of the apocalypse.]
Bob: "Adam?"
Adam: "Yeah?"
Bob: "What the fuck?!"
And that's it for this week. Next week, the ziggurat takes another trip through the Astral Plane, into the (hopefully) protective hands of Kio, goddess of nature. See you then!
