[personal profile] eveglass
Screw it. I'm subjecting myself to too much stress. My mom gave me some very good advice: stop. She originally suggested ending all my contracts, but I don't need to do that. I just need to end one: my Tuesday-Thursday elementary class. My students are wonderful, but I absolutely hate that class: I hate teaching students at that elementary level; the textbook is horrific; I feel uncomfortable with the subject matter. Every time I think about that class, I tense up.

So here's the resolution: I'm giving my 2 weeks' notice for that class tomorrow. I don't care about losing the income: $60 a week is not worth my mental and physical health. Freeing up Tuesday and Thursday early afternoons will allow me to go to karate, potentially go back to SCA practice, and most importantly end some of the stress overload I've been feeling.

In the meantime, I think I'm going to commit at least one semester (starting January 2008) to doing the pre-requisites for accounting. If I hate it, I can always stop. But it'll give me a direction beyond "dragging myself kicking and screaming coasting through ESL teaching." A direction will be useful right now. And who knows, I may actually like it. And, at least while I'm doing the pre-reqs, I'll only have classes two days a week (yes, I already investigated this), which means I can work a few hours on the other days, if necessary. Five hours a week at Dawson or one course at Vanier will be enough to cover living expenses.

I refuse to say that I wasted the last year and a half. I've clocked 230 teaching hours and counting, plus 55 hours as a writing tutor at Dawson. I know so much more about the English language now than I did at this time last year (point of comparison: October 16, 2006 was my first day on the CELTA). I know more about teaching. And I know that, while I love to teach and pass on information, I will probably never be happy teaching in a conventional classroom, where I need to plan lessons, grade students, and hope that my material fills up the alloted time.

So that's where my head's at tonight.
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