[personal profile] eveglass
Ding, dong, the lich is dead, the lich is dead, the wicked lich is dead...

It doesn't work at all, does it? Especially since we are STILL on the Bright Dawn. But at least we're level 9. That's gotta count for something, right?


[The game begins with an undead dire bear repeatedly ramming into the ship.]
Charles: "The bear could just be a distraction."
Julie: "I'm gonna go deal with the shiny distraction."

[The bear manages to grasp Sela in its jaws before she can deal a single point of damage and runs off with her. Lucius tries to jump onto its back as it runs.]
Kyn the GM: "Give me a ride check."
Charles: "I don't have ride."
Kyn the GM: (grinning) "I know."

[As Sela is taken off by the bear, she shouts out for someone to get Therrion. She didn't exactly mean Garrett.]
Garrett: *picks up saddle* "Sela! That way!"
Therrion: (sleepily) "...And?"

[Garrett continues to try to get Therrion to go rescue his rider. Sadly, he's not very diplomatic.]
Therrion: "Is that a threat, meat?"
Garrett: "Have you seen a way out of this place?"
Therrion: "Yes. It's called flying. Sela and I have done it before."

[Therrion is perfectly confident in Sela's abilities and doesn't think she needs saving.]
Garrett: "The brains of your operation is being dragged that way."
Therrion: "I'll say this once -- if there's a brain in this operation, it's me."
Garrett: "Says you."
Therrion: "Dwarf not food... dwarf not food... *rolls 2 on willpower* Dwarf is food!"

[Ah, the reasoning of majestic wilderness animals.]
Garrett: "If you're the brain, the brawn is being carried off."
Therrion: "If she becomes meat, she deserves it."

[Combat sadly ensues.]
Kyn the GM: "If you had entered here with a more polite..."
Marc: "I don't do polite."

[Garrett summons Crawly the monstrous fiendish centipede, whom Therrion easily dispatches.]
Julie: "Wow, Therrion's rolling awesome! I wish I rolled as well as Therrion!"

[The voice of reason arrives. Sorta.]
Therrion: *grabs Garrett and flies him up to the ceiling*
Jass: "Therrion, what are you doing? Are you letting the dwarf get to you? You're better than that."
Marc: "...Not helping."

[Jass reminds Therrion that Sela promised him unlimited meat when she became a duchess.]
Therrion: *drops Garrett* "I believe I will go find Sela now."
Jass: "I believe you should. I trust no one but you."
Garrett: *boggles* "But... he..."

[Garrett tries to figure out how Jass did what he couldn't.]
Jass: "Speaking as someone with a gigantic head, I know how to get through to other people with gigantic heads."

[Meanwhile, Lucius has managed to kill the bear and Sela gets out of its mouth.]
Lucius: "There's still a wizard."
Sela: "Shall we go find him?"
Lucius: "He'll find us."
Kyn the GM: "Speaking of which, roll initiative!"

[Lucius and Sela kill the wizard, who is in fact a woman.]
Tony: "Boy, I hope that wasn't our one-way ticket off the ship."

[After Sela and Lucius take out the wizard, Therrion arrives.]
Sela: "Nice of you to finally show up!"
Therrion: "Pft! I told the dwarf you could handle it!"

[We bring back the mage, an elven woman in full plate.]
Marc: "Are there any explosive runes on this armor?"
Charles: "Only one way to find out!"

[Thankfully, death is a relatively minor hindrance when you've got people around who can cast raise dead at will.]
Garrett: "There's no better way to get information out of a person than to have them breathing."

[We revive the mage, whose name turns out to be Kaeta Balefire.]
Kaeta Balefire: "How dare you do this?! I will--"
Garrett: "Shut up!"

[The mage is speaking in infernal, which only Garrett and Jass understand.]
Kaeta Balefire: "My master is death."
Julie: "I have a great comeback line to that. It's a shame I don't understand what she's saying."

[It turns out the mage has had extensive surgery, which we suspect was to implant a section of her god, Entropol, into her body. The question now is, can we get it out while sticking to our alignments?]
Marc: "I'm not gonna vivisect her..."
Julie: "We have people who can cast raise dead at will."
Kyn the GM: "Garrett's good-aligned."
Julie: "I'm not."
Kyn the GM: "But you're not evil."
Julie: "We'd kill her first. We won't torture her."

[Garrett gets one of the ship's doctors to do the surgery, while he stands by with healing spells.]
Charles: "Did Dr. McNinja just roll a 20?"
Kyn the GM: "Yes."
Charles: "Best doctor ever!"

[Sela arrives to find a pulsing black rotting mass -- which had replaced the mage's internal organs -- securely in a protection circle.]
Sela: "What in Elaurynt's streams is that?!"
Jass: "A cause for drinking!"
Garrett: "The flesh of a dead god."
Sela: "Oh. Let's destroy it. How do we destroy it?"
Marc: "...I want to give her a wise answer, but I have no idea."

[While the PCs want to destroy the flesh of the undead god, the mages want to study it.]
Marc: "Are the wizards taking unnecessary risks?"
Tony: "Other than keeping it alive?"

[We decide that the time is ripe for us to begin getting ourselves off the ship. First step: reclaim the bridge.]
Kyn the GM: "The Duke wants to send more soldiers with you. The Princess reasonably points out that outside of the protective sphere, soldiers will likely be more of a hindrance than a help when they die."

[We reach the main deck.]
Kyn the GM: "Bleakborn begin appearing."
Marc: "I cast hide from undead."
Kyn the GM: "...All right then. Moving on."

[Eclipse ends just as we emerge onto the deck.]
Kyn the GM: "Light. Sky. You guys haven't seen this in a week."
Charles: (dismissively) "Please."
Kyn the GM: "Or a thousand years."

[Lucius sees the sky for the first time in a thousand years.]
Charles: "Hey, Kyn, this week we find out if drained archons cry!"
Kyn the GM: "They do!"
Charles: "Yay!"

[We find the door to the bridge. It had once been sealed, but now there is a hole in it.]
Kyn the GM: "The hole has all the signs of disintegration."
Garrett: "...This does not bode well."

[We approach the bridge.]
Kyn the GM: "Move silent checks."
Charles: "27."
Tony: "27."
Julie: "19."
Marc: "10."
Julie: "As always, the weakest link is the dwarf in full armor."

[It turns out the thing that broke into the bridge was a beholder. Yay.]
Kyn the GM: "Falan uses beholders as shock troops. They drop them and run."

[The beholder starts using its ray attacks.]
Kyn the GM: "You're not turned to stone! Yay!"
Tony: "Part of me is always hard... my heart."

[Lucius hides behind the door and shoots the beholder with lots of arrows.]
Kyn the GM: "It's getting pissed off here!"
Charles: "I weep tears for it. And by tears, I mean arrows."

[In the first round, Sela was hit by a ray of slow. She's been slowly trying to catch up with the beholder, who keeps moving away.]
Kyn the GM: "Julie, you're really pissing it off."
Julie: "I haven't hit it yet! I'd love to be pissing it off!"

[More of the same.]
Julie: "I would like to hit one thing today. Just once!"
Charles: "Congratulations -- you've just unlocked your first level of barbarian!"

[The person dealing the most damage to the beholder is Lucius, still hiding behind the door and shooting it.]
Kyn the GM: "He's gonna kill it by peppering it with arrows."
Julie: "Have I told you how happy I am you're with us, Charles?"

[After the beholder has finally been killed, Garrett takes charge of the bridge to start figuring out the controls. The rest of us investigate the admiral's quarters.]
Jass: "This is so ostentatious. I'd never go this far. I mean, look at the curtains! The bed frame!"
Kyn the GM: "He has your sheets."
Jass: "...Y'know, he's not that bad. The classic style is actually quite lovely."

[Across the hall is the captain's quarters.]
Kyn the GM: "The door is magically sealed."
Julie: "If only we had a beholder."
Kyn the GM: "You threw it out the window."
Tony: "There might be parts of it left."

[The door is still sealed.]
Kyn the GM: "How do you enter?"
Charles: "Ask politely with a large, heavy object."

[We eschew the captain's quarters to immediately go after the lich in the control room. We are, naturally, buffed by our allies. Which doesn't help us much when we're hit with a greater dispel magic in the first round.]
Julie: "Bye, death ward. You were nice while you lasted."

[Combat ensues with a variety of the lich's servants.]
Kyn the GM: "So, the brain in the jar..."
Tony: "Is that actually the monster's name? 'Brain in a jar'?"
Kyn the GM: "Yes."

[Garrett has cast ball lightning, which is utterly useless on the lich with electricity resistance. Instead, he decides to give it a new target.]
Marc: "I move the ball lightning to the brain in the jar."
Kyn the GM: "It can't move. It's a brain in a jar."

[We take out a few of the servants.]
Kyn the GM: "You're doing well."
Tony: "We'll have celebratory drinks when we're all alive back on the ship."

[Combat continues to ensue.]
Kyn the GM: "Lucius' action."
Charles: "I weep ballistic tears."

[The lich touches Jass, almost paralyzing him. Charles expresses what we're all thinking.]
Charles: (as Jass) "Ahh! Lich! Bad touch! Bad touch!"

[Garrett has been saving the domination collar used on Dawnstrider, which was actually made by the lich. He has Jass place it on the lich, and against all odds, it works.]
Garrett: "Now, you are going to tell me where your phylactery is."
Kyn the GM: "...Fuck you!"

[Garrett, in a moment of total badassdom, gets the lich to destroy its own phylactery, destroying himself in the process. He then turns his attention to the collar.]
Garrett: "I don't think ball lightning will destroy this thing. I need a forge."
Kyn the GM: "Speaking of which..."

[The lich's crafting laboratory is huge, easily the size of several football fields. Sela returns to the Epsilon ship to get help. On the way, she meets one of Laudric's vampires. She utterly fails to tell it anything.]
Vampire: "We have an alliance."
Sela: "We haven't broken the alliance."
Vampire: "We wish to aid you."
Sela: "We've got it under control."

[Sela returns to the Epsilon ship.]
Esmeralda: "How's Jass?"
Sela: "Everyone's fine."
Esmeralda: (sheepishly) "...'Jass and the others' I meant, of course."

[Sela goes to recruit some wizards to come investigate the lich's lab. They are all very eager.]
Sela: "Whoever wants to come!"
Duke Calayon: "No..."
Sela: "Whoever you let come!"
Duke Calayon: "Thank you."

[Sela brings the mages back to find everyone very dour. Note that she was unconscious during the very final part of the fight and its aftermath.]
Julie: "Has anyone told me we used the collar on the lich?"
Tony: "No."
Julie: "I'm blissfully ignorant!"

[Along with the wizards, Esmeralda comes to investigate.]
Esmeralda: "Wow, I should put you guys on evil, undead-infested ships more often! You guys are getting results!"

[Esmeralda notes a potential problem with having the mages investigate the lab.]
Esmeralda: "Sela, remind the mages that everything on this ship still belongs to the Crown of Falan, i.e. me."

[To smooth over tensions with the vampires, Jass and Garrett go talk to Laudric.]
Laudric: "Did you destroy its relic?"
Jass: (cagily) "Technically no."

[Garrett tells Laudric what happened, more or less.]
Garrett: "His end was as he chose it."
Julie: "But only because you forced him."
Marc: "I don't like to lie."

[More strategizing.]
Laudric: "We never figured out why a small percentage of the crew survived the initial wave."
Kyn the GM: "Hint: they were good-aligned."

[Garrett and Jass prepare to leave the vampires.]
Laudric: "My offer to you still remains."
Jass: "What was it again?"
Laudirc: "Immortality."
Jass: "Right." *leaves*

[Meanwhile, back on the ship...]
Corna: "Bored! This is the part where you're supposed to entertain me!"

[Lucius finds a novel way of helping out Corna.]
Dawnstrider: "Lucius, what are you doing?!"
Lucius: "Entertaining the child."
Corna: "Shh! He's about to teach me how to catch arrows!"

[Lucius doesn't actually shoot Corna, but it's a near thing.]
Dawnstrider: "Are you mad?!"
Lucius: "Yes." *leaves*

[Now that we've dealt with the lich and had a few hours to rest, it's time to awaken the warforged army. There are two people they might swear allegiance to: Esmeralda or DAX. We decide to start with Esmeralda.]
Esmeralda: "Can we all agree that DAX--"
Sela: "Would be a horrible king?"
Esmeralda: "Exactly."

[We awaken the general of the warforged army, who ultimately agrees to serve Esmeralda.]
Warforged General: "If Falan hasn't been able to win the war in a thousand years, it is not the Falan I was built to fight for."
Esmeralda: "Galandreth wasn't exactly the pushover everyone expected, either."
Julie: "If the Bright Dawn had been there, it would have been."


That's it for now. Next time, off the Bright Dawn! This time for real!
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