The (new) D&D game with no name!

[eveglass]

Feasting and merrymaking and death, oh my! When Our Heroes (tm) are invited as guests of honor by the local town leader for saving a number of Brookglade's children, no one could have expected that their visit would summon an unexpected guest... a forge-spurned dwarf, intent on revenge! Thankfully, also not terribly difficult to kill.


[We prepare to enter the home of Forster Edwards, leader of the local Lumber Consortium.]
Atraxian: "Do please try not to embarrass me. Sionach I assume will anyway..."

[Sionach has spent the day crafting various potions. So when he arrives at the fancy dinner...]
Robert: "I reek of sulfur, by the way."
Adam the GM: "So, no bath?"
Robert: "Why would I do that?"

[We are taken to the very nice receiving hall.]
Robert: "I jump on everything."

[Among the other objects on display in the receiving hall is an owlbear that was killed by our host.]
Shawn: "I take out my notebook. 'Owl... bear...'"

[Also in attendance are a number of other town notables whose children were returned by Our Heroes (tm), including the town butcher, Colbrin Jabbs. The setting is a bit beyond his usual level of formality.]
Colbrin Jabbs: "You look very nice. What do you think about my outfit?"
Adam the GM: "It's horrible."
Atraxian: "...It's not completely terrible."

[On Atraxian's advice, Colbrin Jabbs removes his clashing jacket. Some people, however, have a tendency to misinterpret things.]
Sionach: "I think that person wants to have sex with you. He's clearly trying to impress you."
Atraxian: "...Here's a toffee. Now go away like a good boy."

[Another of the guests is Kitani Eavewalker, a very talented -- and very beautiful -- seamstress.]
Kitani Eavewalker: "Not often you see a talking cat."
Aarevan: "I see them all the time!"

[We are greeted by our host, Forster Edwards.]
Forster Edwards: "I've heard of your explosions. Very impressive."
Sionach: "Thank you! So have I!"

[We are led into the dining hall, set with a long table. Biere sits near the door.]
Andrew: "Not that I don't trust these people, but I don't trust these people."

[Others have different priorities in seating.]
Eric: "I sit close to my companions, to prevent the likelihood that someone will kill me."

[The dinner begins with pleasantries.]
Forster Edwards: "We haven't seen a dwarf in this region for many years. What brings you here?"
Biere: "..."
Forster Edwards: "Is he mute?"
Biere: *stands up* "My clan, the great Stonegaze clan..." *speaks for a half-hour*

[Forster Edwards eventually regains control of the conversation.]
Forster Edwards: "How did you come to be traveling together?"
Biere: "Well, that's a story!"
Forster Edwards: "I wasn't talking to you."

[Some of our companions are more unusual than others. Even to themselves.]
Forster Edwards: "Pardon my rudeness, but what... are you?"
Atraxian: "Well, funny story. It turns out that I just found out my parents aren't who I thought they were, so I have no idea who I am. But thank you for bringing it up. It's not at all a sore spot."

[The first course is served.]
Forster Edwards: "It's a rare species of living tree."
Sionach: "As opposed to...?"

[Conversation turns to the rescued children.]
Forster Edwards: (outraged) "Who witnessed a ritual sacrifice?!"
Aarevan: "Well, we don't know precisely how many of the children witnessed a ritual sacrifice..."
Forster Edwards: *angry eye twitch*
Vyce Fritag (Forster's enforcer): "Best. Dinner. Ever."

[Second course is served: owlbear.]
Atraxian: "This is delicious."
Robert: "No kidding. I want to eat an owlbear now. In real life."

[Conversation returns to Our Heroes (tm), and most notably Biere's hand, which is enfolded in the Grasp of Droskar.]
Vyce Fritag: (to Biere) "What's wrong with your hand?"
Sionach: "It's cursed."
Biere: "I have a condition."
Sionach: "Cursed is a condition."

[For our heroic efforts in rescuing the town's children, Forster Edwards allows us to each chose an item from his modest treasure room.]
Forster Edwards: "You can only go in one at a time. I dislike having too many people in my treasure room at once."
Eric: "And you keep asking why I'm rolling sense motive?"

[As the players choose their treasure individually, the rest are left at the table conversing and contemplating.]
Eric: "Just because you're an assassin doesn't mean you need to be part of an assassin's guild. You could use your skills to kill the head of a Lumber Consortium and live the rest of your life filthy rich."
Julie: "There's an idea for Atraxian."
Shawn: "Hmm..."

[Among the treasure, Sionach took an efficient quiver, which can hold a large quantity of arrows, javelins, staves, and... other things.]
Eric: "Ooh, you can carry 30 ferrets!"

[Once the treasure has been obtained, dinner is interrupted by the forge spurned we killed at the dwarven monastery crashing through the glass ceiling windows.]
Atraxian: "Hey, we killed you!"

[We get a good look at the forge spurned.]
Adam the GM: "He's wearing a smaller chain."
Shawn: "Oh, he's making a new one? It's good to have a hobby."

[We kill the forge spurned. But that's not the main issue. It never is.]
Shawn: "If we keep killing this guy over and over, do we keep getting xp over and over?"

[Of course, the fight is the main issue for some people.]
Forster Edwards: "What happened here?! My ceiling!"

[The forge spurned is dead.]
Eric: "If the body is still flaming, we should probably throw water on it."
Sionach: *prepares to throw liquid on the body*
Biere: "Not the brandy!"

[You'd think after all we've done for this town, people would start taking us at our word. But you'd be wrong.]
Forster Edwards: "This was the thing that held Jurin captive? It was real?!"

[The thing about a forge spurned is that it keeps coming back until you sunder its chain.]
Eric: "So, for the rest of the campaign, every day at about this time, we stop what we're doing, stand in a circle with our weapons drawn, and kill him. It's a bonding experience."

[Sadly, there's a problem with the whole 'kill the forge spurned every night' plan.]
Adam the GM: "Every day, you have to make a DC 20 will save or turn into one of them yourself."
Eric: "That's why we stand in a circle."

[We try to figure out what to do with the forge spurned's body.]
Eric: "Can we make cement?"
Robert: "I'm not sure this is cement. It might be napalm. It's more... burny."
Eric: "The news arrives the next day: second goblin passes through Brookglade in years. Town burns to the ground."

[Biere sunders the forge spurned's chains. We sum up the situation to Forster Edwards.]
Aarevan: "We can guarantee this particular one will never trouble you again, and we had to kill it twice to make that assurance. That's quality for you!"

[Having killed the undead forge spurned in his dining hall, Forster tells us all to get out.]
Atraxian: "Thank you for a lovely evening."
Forster Edwards: "Don't make me regret giving you gifts."
Atraxian: "How rude!"

[Atraxian, somewhat disappointed with the dinner, goes to the Sitting Duck, an inn catering to adventurers.]
Shawn: "I'm hoping someone picks a fight with me."
Julie: "I'm looking forward to seeing someone pick a fight with him!"

[Kastin and Atraxian play board games and get drunk.]
Shawn: *rolls low on his will save* "I spill my guts."
Julie: "Fantastic! My superiors will be pleased!"

[Shawn sums up the state of our 7-person party.]
Shawn: "If we didn't spend so much time bickering, we'd be an unending juggernaut of destruction."


And that's it for this week. Next week... who knows? Certainly not me!