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URDR - Multiverse Defense
Out onto the vast icy expanses of Valhalla! No, not that Valhalla, the other one. The home for retired dragon-slayers who just want to live their twilight years hunting trolls and feasting. So when frost giants start besieging the gates of Asgard, it's time to call in the professionals: Our Heroes (tm).
[Stuart has decided to make a new character, one who looks rather similar to his last one.]
Stuart's New Character: "Until Lord Dregari is cured of his zombiedom, I'm replacing him."
Yalia: "What's your name?"
Stuart's New Character: "Anton Dregari."
[Stuart's new character, a different Anton Dregari from an alternate world, is a mage of rather unique talents. Upon meeting the team, he casts a spell to give us a permanent +4 stat boost. On other words...]
Eric the GM: (as Anton Dregari) "Nice to meet you -- have some steroids."
[As always, we are greeted by our handler, Lena Cereghetti.]
Lena Cereghetti: "You're some of the most remarkable agents I'm working with."
Yalia: "I'm not sure what that says about the rest of the organization."
[Lena informs us that our next mission will take us to a created demi-plane designed to mimic the legendary Asgard. Other than the warriors who live in the city of Valhalla, the only other notable being are the trolls, who number in the millions or even billions.]
Fox: "What do the trolls eat?"
Lena Cereghetti: "Anything they catch. Mostly each other."
[I should say, the trolls are only other notable beings except for the frost giants, who have become a major threat in the last six months or so.]
Yalia: "We should have things that can cause fire."
Anton Dregari: "I can."
Yalia: "Yeah, but the rest of us should also."
Anton Dregari: "I can set you on fire."
Yalia: "I'd rather you set the frost giants on fire."
[Axcevent decides to bring a flamethrower.]
Anton Dregari: "There will always be a time when you say, 'I wish we'd brought a flamethrower. Let's avoid those situations."
[Other than the flamethrower and a wand of fireballs for Yalia, we don't requisition any other equipment.]
Anton Dregari: "We can handle anything but ice sharks."
Fox: "Oh, you just had to go there."
[Much to some people's discomfort, coming with us is the zombified former Lord Dregari.]
Stuart: "He groans at you welcomingly."
[We arrive in Asgard. Almost immediately...]
Eric the GM: "Reflex save."
Stuart: "It's a snowball, isn't it?"
[It is not a snowball; it is a troll. It attacks Anton Dregari but we dispatch it handily, and after a moment or two meet up with Shan, the contact from Valhalla who was sent to meet us.]
Shan: "Are you all okay?"
Anton Dregari: "I think I'm fine. Has anyone seen my dignity?"
[We reach the prime -- and only -- city in Asgard: Valhalla. It has massive stone walls and a massive gate. However, unlike the mythical kingdom of its namesake, this one has incorporated technology of a variety of eras.]
Eric the GM: "Someone's put a lot of love into this place. Love, and explosives."
[The leader of Valhalla is a female dwarf with the title 'The Odin.' She has both her eyes.]
Eric the GM: "Because of the healing magic on this plane, unless you lost your eye before coming, it would actually be quite difficult to keep your eye out."
[We sit to talk with the Odin.]
Odin: "Bring mead! Mead and whatever else is handy!"
[We talk about the situation with the Odin.]
Axcevent: "Did anything happen before the giants came?"
Odin: "No. Asgard has been... Excuse me, I was about to say 'peaceful,' but what would be the point? Asgard has been normal."
[After our meeting with the Odin, we have a few hours before the next frost giant attack is expected.]
Sabina: "We can gather some information."
Julie: "I'm not sure how much we can learn that the Odin hasn't told us."
Stuart: "There's lots to learn: what kind of seasonings they use, how done they like their meat..."
[We also talk with the Thor, commander of the armies. He's a robot with huge swords.]
Eric the GM: "You don't recognize the style of technology from any world you know."
Julie: "That sounds like a challenge!"
[As we talk with the Thor...]
Thor: "We are surrounded."
Anton Dregari: "What, already? I haven't had a drink yet! Can I grab a flagon to go?"
Thor: "You would not be the only one."
[We go to a helicopter we asked to have waiting in order to observe the battle. And now we witness the difference in air security on Asgard compared to contemporary North America.]
Pilot: "If you're carrying bombs, you're welcome to them. Just make sure to throw them out the door before they go off."
[Eric the GM describes the Asgardians emerging to the battle.]
Eric the GM: "You see some pegasi with knightly riders, at least two jetpacks, and a plane that shifts back and forth into a humanoid."
[We fly over the battlefield.]
Eric the GM: "The helicopter comes under fire. The pilot-- Well, let's leave that up to the dice, shall we?"
[Yalia jumps down to the edge of the battle to cast some spells and place a homing beacon on one of the creatures. She winds up getting impaled on an ice spike and losing 66 hit points in one round.]
Anton Dregari: "Hold on -- I've always wanted to do this." *sticks hand through the hole in Yalia's chest and snaps picture*
[After the battle, Anton prepares to do some divinations. However, his magic is better fuelled if he has blood. It doesn't have to be his own.]
Anton Dregari: "I need a troll or a volunteer."
Fox: "Someone with an excess of blood."
[It takes a while, but eventually he gets a victim.]
Eric the GM: "You find someone trusting enough to let you use his blood, which means he's probably not the smartest."
Stuart: "He doesn't need to be smart, just to have blood."
[Anton Dregari summons Jack Frost style snowman to gather the information on the frost giants.]
Anton Dregari: "We need to know about these frost constructs."
Snowman: "..."
Fox: "Can you tell us anything?"
Snowman: "Yes."
[It turns out that all the frost creatures are being created by a single frost giant who managed to form around a powerful magic artifact that controls snow and ice. He is in the caves about 800 miles north of Valhalla.]
Julie: "Does the Odin have any thoughts on what should be done?"
Odin: "We attack it and kill it, of course! Why is this even a question?!"
[One other possibility is to transport the frost sorcerer to another plane. However, given that the rod still embedded in its arm was used to create Asgard, we're not sure what'll happen if it goes off-plane.]
Odin: "To be perfectly clear, I will not sanction any plan that could risk destroying Asgard."
Anton Dregari: "Well, we don't plan on destroying it. It would look bad in our personnel files."
[We plan to leave tomorrow, which leaves tonight as semi-downtime. What do you do?]
Anton Dregari: "Excellent. Food, drink, and illusion deck."
[Some people will not be partaking of the adult-only illusion deck.]
Anton Dregari: (to Lord Dregari) "Your rotting lordship, if you could just keep an eye on Yalia... not literally, of course."
[Anton Dregari summons a demon who does not emanate heat, the better to approach the frost sorcerer without causing alarm.]
Eric the GM: "Is it a real demon? Because there are some people here who would be upset if you summoned a force of evil."
Stuart: "That would be rude."
[The next day, we head out to the north with a small group of Asgardians.]
Eric the GM: "I'm just seeing if Google image search has a picture of vikings in helicopters."
Stuart: "If it doesn't, it should."
[In addition to the PCs, Lord Dregari, and the demon, we are also taking Thor and the two transformers. There are too many to fit in the helicopter. However...]
Stuart: "Shatterscale can turn into a car?"
Eric the GM: "Yes. And you can put the zombie in the trunk."
Stuart: *rolls eyes* "We put the demon in the trunk."
[It's a rather long trip north. We need a way to pass the time somehow.]
Anton Dregari: "I spy with my little eye something starting with I."
Everyone: "..."
Anton Dregari: "Come on, anyone?"
Everyone: "..."
Anton Dregari: "Fine. I'll play with the demon."
Yalia: "He's in the trunk."
Anton Dregari: "I'll just have to shout."
Yalia: *sighs*
Anton Dregari: (shouting) "I spy with my little eye something starting with I."
Demon: "Trunk!"
[We approach the ice caves. Fox takes the form of one of the ice creatures and feels a connection to the ice sorcerer in the caves. Of course, it also leads to lines like this.]
Fox: "Your light is making the ice very angry."
[As we proceed into the caves, Fox's connection with the ice sorcerer grows.]
Eric the GM: "Ever go to the biodome and stand a few inches away from a deadly animal with only a thin sheet of glass in the way? That's how the frost sorcerer is feeling."
[We enter the caves.]
Eric the GM: "The cave is big enough that the two transformers can come with you."
Stuart: "I feel safer!"
Eric the GM: "As well you should! These things are combat monsters!"
[Continuing in the caves.]
Eric the GM: (to Fox) "Something's wrong up ahead."
Anton Dregari: "If we find Morgaustan or one of his minions again, I'm going home."
[We approach the source of the wrongness with our demon/trap-sweeper.]
Eric the GM: "Billy the demon turns a corner. There's a growl, a yelp, a whoosh, and then blood sprays across the corridor."
Stuart: "This is why I don't go first."
[Thor and the two transformers go on ahead to deal with whatever took out Billy the demon.]
Eric the GM: (to Fox) "There is a general unpleasantness and many, many rapidly-disappearing particular unpleasantnesses."
[Repeating a phrase said by Thor and the transformers, "For Odin and Asgard!", Anton Dregari found himself grow larger, gain strength, and lose any fear.]
Anton Dregari: "Thor, if this doesn't go back to normal in an hour, should I consult with a medical professional?"
Thor: "No. [beat] Who taught you the cheat codes?"
[Turns out that the creators of Asgard installed cheat codes to help the fighters in their combats.]
Thor: "No one told you this when you arrived?"
Anton Dregari: "We didn't get the pamphlet."
[We are very close to the sorcerer.]
Fox: "There's something unsafe ahead. But it also feels like home. It's quite nice."
[Given that she is currently made of ice, Fox will be our diplomat. Anton Dregari gives her some pointers.]
Anton Dregari: "We come in peace..."
Fox: "Do we?"
[We're almost at the sorcerer's chamber.]
Fox: "I think it's wary of you guys approaching."
Yalia: "That's a reasonable response."
[The plan is to have Yalia transport the ice sorcerer to the elemental plane of ice. However, to approach it, she also needs to be made of ice. Anton Dregari is able to cast the spell, but he must use his own blood to do it.]
Anton Dregari: *cuts his own arm*
Fox: "This is very unpleasant!"
Anton Dregari: "You're telling me!"
[In the end, everything worked out for the best. We return to Asgard and celebrate. The only thing missing is...]
Eric the GM: "I was saving a line for a year that I didn't get to use. If you'd tried to convince the Odin to leave, she would have said something along the lines of: 'We came to this plane and built Valhalla with our own hands! We hauled the rocks off the ice, and when we ran out of rocks, we use the stone bodies of dead trolls! We built this city! We built this city on rocks and trolls!' ...That's the only reason there are trolls in this session."
And that's it for this time! Join us next time for... who knows, really? That's the thing about URDR - you might be sent to defend just about anything. Bring your space-suit.
[Stuart has decided to make a new character, one who looks rather similar to his last one.]
Stuart's New Character: "Until Lord Dregari is cured of his zombiedom, I'm replacing him."
Yalia: "What's your name?"
Stuart's New Character: "Anton Dregari."
[Stuart's new character, a different Anton Dregari from an alternate world, is a mage of rather unique talents. Upon meeting the team, he casts a spell to give us a permanent +4 stat boost. On other words...]
Eric the GM: (as Anton Dregari) "Nice to meet you -- have some steroids."
[As always, we are greeted by our handler, Lena Cereghetti.]
Lena Cereghetti: "You're some of the most remarkable agents I'm working with."
Yalia: "I'm not sure what that says about the rest of the organization."
[Lena informs us that our next mission will take us to a created demi-plane designed to mimic the legendary Asgard. Other than the warriors who live in the city of Valhalla, the only other notable being are the trolls, who number in the millions or even billions.]
Fox: "What do the trolls eat?"
Lena Cereghetti: "Anything they catch. Mostly each other."
[I should say, the trolls are only other notable beings except for the frost giants, who have become a major threat in the last six months or so.]
Yalia: "We should have things that can cause fire."
Anton Dregari: "I can."
Yalia: "Yeah, but the rest of us should also."
Anton Dregari: "I can set you on fire."
Yalia: "I'd rather you set the frost giants on fire."
[Axcevent decides to bring a flamethrower.]
Anton Dregari: "There will always be a time when you say, 'I wish we'd brought a flamethrower. Let's avoid those situations."
[Other than the flamethrower and a wand of fireballs for Yalia, we don't requisition any other equipment.]
Anton Dregari: "We can handle anything but ice sharks."
Fox: "Oh, you just had to go there."
[Much to some people's discomfort, coming with us is the zombified former Lord Dregari.]
Stuart: "He groans at you welcomingly."
[We arrive in Asgard. Almost immediately...]
Eric the GM: "Reflex save."
Stuart: "It's a snowball, isn't it?"
[It is not a snowball; it is a troll. It attacks Anton Dregari but we dispatch it handily, and after a moment or two meet up with Shan, the contact from Valhalla who was sent to meet us.]
Shan: "Are you all okay?"
Anton Dregari: "I think I'm fine. Has anyone seen my dignity?"
[We reach the prime -- and only -- city in Asgard: Valhalla. It has massive stone walls and a massive gate. However, unlike the mythical kingdom of its namesake, this one has incorporated technology of a variety of eras.]
Eric the GM: "Someone's put a lot of love into this place. Love, and explosives."
[The leader of Valhalla is a female dwarf with the title 'The Odin.' She has both her eyes.]
Eric the GM: "Because of the healing magic on this plane, unless you lost your eye before coming, it would actually be quite difficult to keep your eye out."
[We sit to talk with the Odin.]
Odin: "Bring mead! Mead and whatever else is handy!"
[We talk about the situation with the Odin.]
Axcevent: "Did anything happen before the giants came?"
Odin: "No. Asgard has been... Excuse me, I was about to say 'peaceful,' but what would be the point? Asgard has been normal."
[After our meeting with the Odin, we have a few hours before the next frost giant attack is expected.]
Sabina: "We can gather some information."
Julie: "I'm not sure how much we can learn that the Odin hasn't told us."
Stuart: "There's lots to learn: what kind of seasonings they use, how done they like their meat..."
[We also talk with the Thor, commander of the armies. He's a robot with huge swords.]
Eric the GM: "You don't recognize the style of technology from any world you know."
Julie: "That sounds like a challenge!"
[As we talk with the Thor...]
Thor: "We are surrounded."
Anton Dregari: "What, already? I haven't had a drink yet! Can I grab a flagon to go?"
Thor: "You would not be the only one."
[We go to a helicopter we asked to have waiting in order to observe the battle. And now we witness the difference in air security on Asgard compared to contemporary North America.]
Pilot: "If you're carrying bombs, you're welcome to them. Just make sure to throw them out the door before they go off."
[Eric the GM describes the Asgardians emerging to the battle.]
Eric the GM: "You see some pegasi with knightly riders, at least two jetpacks, and a plane that shifts back and forth into a humanoid."
[We fly over the battlefield.]
Eric the GM: "The helicopter comes under fire. The pilot-- Well, let's leave that up to the dice, shall we?"
[Yalia jumps down to the edge of the battle to cast some spells and place a homing beacon on one of the creatures. She winds up getting impaled on an ice spike and losing 66 hit points in one round.]
Anton Dregari: "Hold on -- I've always wanted to do this." *sticks hand through the hole in Yalia's chest and snaps picture*
[After the battle, Anton prepares to do some divinations. However, his magic is better fuelled if he has blood. It doesn't have to be his own.]
Anton Dregari: "I need a troll or a volunteer."
Fox: "Someone with an excess of blood."
[It takes a while, but eventually he gets a victim.]
Eric the GM: "You find someone trusting enough to let you use his blood, which means he's probably not the smartest."
Stuart: "He doesn't need to be smart, just to have blood."
[Anton Dregari summons Jack Frost style snowman to gather the information on the frost giants.]
Anton Dregari: "We need to know about these frost constructs."
Snowman: "..."
Fox: "Can you tell us anything?"
Snowman: "Yes."
[It turns out that all the frost creatures are being created by a single frost giant who managed to form around a powerful magic artifact that controls snow and ice. He is in the caves about 800 miles north of Valhalla.]
Julie: "Does the Odin have any thoughts on what should be done?"
Odin: "We attack it and kill it, of course! Why is this even a question?!"
[One other possibility is to transport the frost sorcerer to another plane. However, given that the rod still embedded in its arm was used to create Asgard, we're not sure what'll happen if it goes off-plane.]
Odin: "To be perfectly clear, I will not sanction any plan that could risk destroying Asgard."
Anton Dregari: "Well, we don't plan on destroying it. It would look bad in our personnel files."
[We plan to leave tomorrow, which leaves tonight as semi-downtime. What do you do?]
Anton Dregari: "Excellent. Food, drink, and illusion deck."
[Some people will not be partaking of the adult-only illusion deck.]
Anton Dregari: (to Lord Dregari) "Your rotting lordship, if you could just keep an eye on Yalia... not literally, of course."
[Anton Dregari summons a demon who does not emanate heat, the better to approach the frost sorcerer without causing alarm.]
Eric the GM: "Is it a real demon? Because there are some people here who would be upset if you summoned a force of evil."
Stuart: "That would be rude."
[The next day, we head out to the north with a small group of Asgardians.]
Eric the GM: "I'm just seeing if Google image search has a picture of vikings in helicopters."
Stuart: "If it doesn't, it should."
[In addition to the PCs, Lord Dregari, and the demon, we are also taking Thor and the two transformers. There are too many to fit in the helicopter. However...]
Stuart: "Shatterscale can turn into a car?"
Eric the GM: "Yes. And you can put the zombie in the trunk."
Stuart: *rolls eyes* "We put the demon in the trunk."
[It's a rather long trip north. We need a way to pass the time somehow.]
Anton Dregari: "I spy with my little eye something starting with I."
Everyone: "..."
Anton Dregari: "Come on, anyone?"
Everyone: "..."
Anton Dregari: "Fine. I'll play with the demon."
Yalia: "He's in the trunk."
Anton Dregari: "I'll just have to shout."
Yalia: *sighs*
Anton Dregari: (shouting) "I spy with my little eye something starting with I."
Demon: "Trunk!"
[We approach the ice caves. Fox takes the form of one of the ice creatures and feels a connection to the ice sorcerer in the caves. Of course, it also leads to lines like this.]
Fox: "Your light is making the ice very angry."
[As we proceed into the caves, Fox's connection with the ice sorcerer grows.]
Eric the GM: "Ever go to the biodome and stand a few inches away from a deadly animal with only a thin sheet of glass in the way? That's how the frost sorcerer is feeling."
[We enter the caves.]
Eric the GM: "The cave is big enough that the two transformers can come with you."
Stuart: "I feel safer!"
Eric the GM: "As well you should! These things are combat monsters!"
[Continuing in the caves.]
Eric the GM: (to Fox) "Something's wrong up ahead."
Anton Dregari: "If we find Morgaustan or one of his minions again, I'm going home."
[We approach the source of the wrongness with our demon/trap-sweeper.]
Eric the GM: "Billy the demon turns a corner. There's a growl, a yelp, a whoosh, and then blood sprays across the corridor."
Stuart: "This is why I don't go first."
[Thor and the two transformers go on ahead to deal with whatever took out Billy the demon.]
Eric the GM: (to Fox) "There is a general unpleasantness and many, many rapidly-disappearing particular unpleasantnesses."
[Repeating a phrase said by Thor and the transformers, "For Odin and Asgard!", Anton Dregari found himself grow larger, gain strength, and lose any fear.]
Anton Dregari: "Thor, if this doesn't go back to normal in an hour, should I consult with a medical professional?"
Thor: "No. [beat] Who taught you the cheat codes?"
[Turns out that the creators of Asgard installed cheat codes to help the fighters in their combats.]
Thor: "No one told you this when you arrived?"
Anton Dregari: "We didn't get the pamphlet."
[We are very close to the sorcerer.]
Fox: "There's something unsafe ahead. But it also feels like home. It's quite nice."
[Given that she is currently made of ice, Fox will be our diplomat. Anton Dregari gives her some pointers.]
Anton Dregari: "We come in peace..."
Fox: "Do we?"
[We're almost at the sorcerer's chamber.]
Fox: "I think it's wary of you guys approaching."
Yalia: "That's a reasonable response."
[The plan is to have Yalia transport the ice sorcerer to the elemental plane of ice. However, to approach it, she also needs to be made of ice. Anton Dregari is able to cast the spell, but he must use his own blood to do it.]
Anton Dregari: *cuts his own arm*
Fox: "This is very unpleasant!"
Anton Dregari: "You're telling me!"
[In the end, everything worked out for the best. We return to Asgard and celebrate. The only thing missing is...]
Eric the GM: "I was saving a line for a year that I didn't get to use. If you'd tried to convince the Odin to leave, she would have said something along the lines of: 'We came to this plane and built Valhalla with our own hands! We hauled the rocks off the ice, and when we ran out of rocks, we use the stone bodies of dead trolls! We built this city! We built this city on rocks and trolls!' ...That's the only reason there are trolls in this session."
And that's it for this time! Join us next time for... who knows, really? That's the thing about URDR - you might be sent to defend just about anything. Bring your space-suit.